diff --git a/externals/cowsay/ChangeLog b/externals/cowsay/ChangeLog
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..b28ef91b85
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/ChangeLog
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+3.03	28 May 1999
+	- Added cows/tux.cow, as suggested by xmanoel@i.am
+	- Compatibility with 5.6.0, due to a change in qw().
+	- Renamed devil.cow to daemon.cow, since I know better. :-)
+
+3.02	04 November 1999
+	- Fixed boneheaded code placement so that cowsay -l actually works.
+
+3.01    01 November 1999
+	- Fixed compatibility issues between the Text::Wrap module
+	  that changed between 5.005_02 and 5.005_03.
+	- Fixed tab expansion issues with Text::Tabs.
+
+3.0	13 April 1999, released 14 August 1999
+	- Rewritten into Perl 5 and presented to the world.
+
+-- Not present in CVS from here on down --
+
+2.x	Date?
+	- Arbitrary messages. 
+	- Figlet support (-n). 
+	- Line wrap length (-w). 
+	- Multiple pre-set expressions.
+	- Better arg parsing loop.
+	- Message from stdin or command line.
+
+1.0	Date?
+	- SUBJECT is VERB OBJECT
+
+$Id: ChangeLog,v 1.4 2000/05/29 17:55:24 tony Exp $
+This file is part of cowsay.  (c) 1999-2000 Tony Monroe.
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/INSTALL b/externals/cowsay/INSTALL
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..d3844ca565
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/INSTALL
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+=================
+Installing cowsay
+=================
+
+If you really want to get things installed a nice and pretty way,
+
+	sh install.sh
+
+It will ask approximately one question.  If you can't answer it,
+you need serious help.
+
+If the install goes well, you can start cowing immediately!  Just
+be sure to read the manual page first...
+
+$Id: INSTALL,v 1.1 1999/08/14 08:03:17 tony Exp $
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/LICENSE b/externals/cowsay/LICENSE
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..944770492d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/LICENSE
@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
+==============
+cowsay License
+==============
+
+cowsay is distributed under the same licensing terms as Perl: the
+Artistic License or the GNU General Public License.  If you don't
+want to track down these licenses and read them for yourself, use
+the parts that I'd prefer:
+
+(0) I wrote it and you didn't.
+
+(1) Give credit where credit is due if you borrow the code for some
+other purpose.
+
+(2) If you have any bugfixes or suggestions, please notify me so
+that I may incorporate them.
+
+(3) If you try to make money off of cowsay, you suck.
+
+===============
+cowsay Legalese
+===============
+
+(0) Copyright (c) 1999 Tony Monroe.  All rights reserved.  All
+lefts may or may not be reversed at my discretion.
+
+(1) This software package can be freely redistributed or modified
+under the terms described above in the "cowsay License" section
+of this file.
+
+(2) cowsay is provided "as is," with no warranties whatsoever,
+expressed or implied.  If you want some implied warranty about
+merchantability and/or fitness for a particular purpose, you will
+not find it here, because there is no such thing here.
+
+(3) I hate legalese.
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/MANIFEST b/externals/cowsay/MANIFEST
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..a3ff805fed
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/MANIFEST
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+ChangeLog		Changes to recent versions.
+INSTALL			Instructions for installing cowsay.
+LICENSE			The license for use and redistribution of cowsay.
+MANIFEST		This file.
+README			Read this first.  Really.
+Wrap.pm.diff		Diff for Text/Wrap.pm.
+cows/*			Support files used by cowsay.
+cowsay			Main cowsay executable.
+cowsay.1		Main cowsay manual page.
+install.sh		cowsay installation script.
+pgp_public_key.txt	Verify the signature file with this key.
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/README b/externals/cowsay/README
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..b5de08c405
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/README
@@ -0,0 +1,38 @@
+===========
+cowsay 3.03
+===========
+
+cowsay is a configurable talking cow, written in Perl.  It operates
+much as the figlet program does, and it written in the same spirit
+of silliness.
+
+cowsay is actually a pretty old program.  It has not really been
+released before, and I am releasing it in the hope that someone
+other than myself will be amused by it. 
+
+The first major version of cowsay had one cow and one message
+template: $foo is $verb $bar.  Not very flexible, but people managed
+to do pretty interesting things with it.  The second major version
+scrapped many of the limitations of the first, by allowing arbitrary
+messages, multiple cowfiles, and even support for cows talking in
+figlet.  The third version was a rewrite of the second into Perl
+5, whereupon the code got a lot smaller and more manageable. :-)
+
+If you are using Perl 5.004, you may have problems with Text::Wrap.
+(Yeesh, this module changes more than it should...)  I've included
+a diff for the Text::Wrap (version 97.011701) that is shipped with
+5.004_04; the concept is simple enough that even older Perls can
+take advantage of this silly little patch; if there is a "sub fill"
+in the documentation for the module, copy it to a more useful
+section of that file.  If not, just take "sub fill" wholesale from
+the patch.  Oh, and consider upgrading to 5.005_03 or later.
+Please.  You'll like it, I promise.
+
+To install cowsay, consult the INSTALL file in this directory.
+
+For the terms and conditions of use, consult the LICENSE file in
+this directory.
+
+-- Tony Monroe (tony@nog.net)
+
+$Id: README,v 1.3 2000/05/28 06:24:46 tony Exp $
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/Wrap.pm.diff b/externals/cowsay/Wrap.pm.diff
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..1da064079e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/Wrap.pm.diff
@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
+*** Wrap.pm.in	Thu May 22 00:21:42 1997
+--- Wrap.pm	Fri Nov 12 10:00:15 1999
+***************
+*** 3,9 ****
+  require Exporter;
+  
+  @ISA = (Exporter);
+! @EXPORT = qw(wrap);
+  @EXPORT_OK = qw($columns);
+  
+  $VERSION = 97.011701;
+--- 3,9 ----
+  require Exporter;
+  
+  @ISA = (Exporter);
+! @EXPORT = qw(wrap fill);
+  @EXPORT_OK = qw($columns);
+  
+  $VERSION = 97.011701;
+***************
+*** 66,71 ****
+--- 66,90 ----
+  
+  	print "-----------$r---------\n" if $debug;;
+  	return $r;
++ }
++ 
++ ## Copied up from below.
++ sub fill 
++ {
++ 	my ($ip, $xp, @raw) = @_;
++ 	my @para;
++ 	my $pp;
++ 
++ 	for $pp (split(/\n\s+/, join("\n",@raw))) {
++ 		$pp =~ s/\s+/ /g;
++ 		my $x = wrap($ip, $xp, $pp);
++ 		push(@para, $x);
++ 	}
++ 
++ 	# if paragraph_indent is the same as line_indent, 
++ 	# separate paragraphs with blank lines
++ 
++ 	return join ($ip eq $xp ? "\n\n" : "\n", @para);
+  }
+  
+  1;
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/bunny.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/bunny.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..869933f72a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/bunny.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+##
+## A cute little wabbit
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts
+   $thoughts   \\
+        \\ /\\
+        ( )
+      .( o ).
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/cower.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/cower.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..ae593c6568
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/cower.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+##
+## A cowering cow
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+     $thoughts
+      $thoughts
+        ,__, |    | 
+        (oo)\\|    |___
+        (__)\\|    |   )\\_
+             |    |_w |  \\
+             |    |  ||   *
+
+             Cower....
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/daemon.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/daemon.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..03dbce0dc4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/daemon.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
+##
+## 4.4 >> 5.4
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+   $thoughts         ,        ,
+    $thoughts       /(        )`
+     $thoughts      \\ \\___   / |
+            /- _  `-/  '
+           (/\\/ \\ \\   /\\
+           / /   | `    \\
+           O O   ) /    |
+           `-^--'`<     '
+          (_.)  _  )   /
+           `.___/`    /
+             `-----' /
+<----.     __ / __   \\
+<----|====O)))==) \\) /====
+<----'    `--' `.__,' \\
+             |        |
+              \\       /
+        ______( (_  / \\______
+      ,'  ,-----'   |        \\
+      `--{__________)        \\/
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/default.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/default.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..761eafdb47
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/default.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
+$the_cow = <<"EOC";
+        $thoughts   ^__^
+         $thoughts  ($eyes)\\_______
+            (__)\\       )\\/\\
+             $tongue ||----w |
+                ||     ||
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/dragon-and-cow.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/dragon-and-cow.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..33be1f2d01
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/dragon-and-cow.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+##
+## A dragon smiting a cow, possible credit to kube@csua.berkeley.edu
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+                       $thoughts                    ^    /^
+                        $thoughts                  / \\  // \\
+                         $thoughts   |\\___/|      /   \\//  .\\
+                          $thoughts  /O  O  \\__  /    //  | \\ \\           *----*
+                            /     /  \\/_/    //   |  \\  \\          \\   |
+                            \@___\@`    \\/_   //    |   \\   \\         \\/\\ \\
+                           0/0/|       \\/_ //     |    \\    \\         \\  \\
+                       0/0/0/0/|        \\///      |     \\     \\       |  |
+                    0/0/0/0/0/_|_ /   (  //       |      \\     _\\     |  /
+                 0/0/0/0/0/0/`/,_ _ _/  ) ; -.    |    _ _\\.-~       /   /
+                             ,-}        _      *-.|.-~-.           .~    ~
+            \\     \\__/        `/\\      /                 ~-. _ .-~      /
+             \\____($eyes)           *.   }            {                   /
+             (    (--)          .----~-.\\        \\-`                 .~
+             //__\\\\  \\__ Ack!   ///.----..<        \\             _ -~
+            //    \\\\               ///-._ _ _ _ _ _ _{^ - - - - ~
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/dragon.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/dragon.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..297a1aec88
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/dragon.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+##
+## The Whitespace Dragon
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+      $thoughts                    / \\  //\\
+       $thoughts    |\\___/|      /   \\//  \\\\
+            /0  0  \\__  /    //  | \\ \\    
+           /     /  \\/_/    //   |  \\  \\  
+           \@_^_\@'/   \\/_   //    |   \\   \\ 
+           //_^_/     \\/_ //     |    \\    \\
+        ( //) |        \\///      |     \\     \\
+      ( / /) _|_ /   )  //       |      \\     _\\
+    ( // /) '/,_ _ _/  ( ; -.    |    _ _\\.-~        .-~~~^-.
+  (( / / )) ,-{        _      `-.|.-~-.           .~         `.
+ (( // / ))  '/\\      /                 ~-. _ .-~      .-~^-.  \\
+ (( /// ))      `.   {            }                   /      \\  \\
+  (( / ))     .----~-.\\        \\-'                 .~         \\  `. \\^-.
+             ///.----..>        \\             _ -~             `.  ^-`  ^-_
+               ///-._ _ _ _ _ _ _}^ - - - - ~                     ~-- ,.-~
+                                                                  /.-~
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/elephant.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/elephant.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..959cd3f6dd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/elephant.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+##
+## An elephant out and about
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+ $thoughts     /\\  ___  /\\
+  $thoughts   // \\/   \\/ \\\\
+     ((    O O    ))
+      \\\\ /     \\ //
+       \\/  | |  \\/ 
+        |  | |  |  
+        |  | |  |  
+        |   o   |  
+        | |   | |  
+        |m|   |m|  
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/eyes.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/eyes.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..06cdbeb7e7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/eyes.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+##
+## Evil-looking eyes
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+    $thoughts
+     $thoughts
+                                   .::!!!!!!!:.
+  .!!!!!:.                        .:!!!!!!!!!!!!
+  ~~~~!!!!!!.                 .:!!!!!!!!!UWWW\$\$\$ 
+      :\$\$NWX!!:           .:!!!!!!XUWW\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$P 
+      \$\$\$\$\$##WX!:      .<!!!!UW\$\$\$\$"  \$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$# 
+      \$\$\$\$\$  \$\$\$UX   :!!UW\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$   4\$\$\$\$\$* 
+      ^\$\$\$B  \$\$\$\$\\     \$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$   d\$\$R" 
+        "*\$bd\$\$\$\$      '*\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$\$o+#" 
+             """"          """"""" 
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/flaming-sheep.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/flaming-sheep.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..ad9d620f57
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/flaming-sheep.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+##
+## The flaming sheep, contributed by Geordan Rosario (geordan@csua.berkeley.edu)
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts            .    .     .   
+   $thoughts      .  . .     `  ,     
+    $thoughts    .; .  : .' :  :  : . 
+     $thoughts   i..`: i` i.i.,i  i . 
+      $thoughts   `,--.|i |i|ii|ii|i: 
+           U${eyes}U\\.'\@\@\@\@\@\@`.||' 
+           \\__/(\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@)'  
+                (\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@)    
+                `YY~~~~YY'    
+                 ||    ||     
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/head-in.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/head-in.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..2e51774886
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/head-in.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+##
+## Go stick yer head in a cow.
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+    $thoughts
+     $thoughts
+    ^__^         /
+    ($eyes)\\_______/  _________
+    (__)\\       )=(  ____|_ \\_____
+   $tongue   ||----w |  \\ \\     \\_____ |
+        ||     ||   ||           ||
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/kitty.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/kitty.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..64280a8d2e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/kitty.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+##
+## A kitten of sorts, I think
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+     $thoughts
+      $thoughts
+       ("`-'  '-/") .___..--' ' "`-._
+         ` *_ *  )    `-.   (      ) .`-.__. `)
+         (_Y_.) ' ._   )   `._` ;  `` -. .-'
+      _.. `--'_..-_/   /--' _ .' ,4
+   ( i l ),-''  ( l i),'  ( ( ! .-'    
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/koala.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/koala.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..83b83425ab
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/koala.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+##
+## From the canonical koala collection
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts
+   $thoughts
+       ___  
+     {~._.~}
+      ( Y )
+     ()~*~()   
+     (_)-(_)   
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/meow.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/meow.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..ba255da711
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/meow.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+##
+## A meowing tiger?
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts
+   $thoughts ,   _ ___.--'''`--''//-,-_--_.
+      \\`"' ` || \\\\ \\ \\\\/ / // / ,-\\\\`,_
+     /'`  \\ \\ || Y  | \\|/ / // / - |__ `-,
+    /\@"\\  ` \\ `\\ |  | ||/ // | \\/  \\  `-._`-,_.,
+   /  _.-. `.-\\,___/\\ _/|_/_\\_\\/|_/ |     `-._._)
+   `-'``/  /  |  // \\__/\\__  /  \\__/ \\
+        `-'  /-\\/  | -|   \\__ \\   |-' |
+          __/\\ / _/ \\/ __,-'   ) ,' _|'
+         (((__/(((_.' ((___..-'((__,'
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/moofasa.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/moofasa.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..15119d6782
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/moofasa.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+##
+## MOOfasa.
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+       $thoughts    ____
+        $thoughts  /    \\
+          | ^__^ |
+          | ($eyes) |______
+          | (__) |      )\\/\\
+           \\____/|----w |
+                ||     ||
+
+	         Moofasa
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/moose.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/moose.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..9d193c624d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/moose.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts
+   $thoughts   \\_\\_    _/_/
+    $thoughts      \\__/
+           ($eyes)\\_______
+           (__)\\       )\\/\\
+            $tongue ||----w |
+               ||     ||
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/mutilated.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/mutilated.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..99d35acd1d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/mutilated.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+##
+## A mutilated cow, from aspolito@csua.berkeley.edu
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+       $thoughts   \\_______
+ v__v   $thoughts  \\   O   )
+ ($eyes)      ||----w |
+ (__)      ||     ||  \\/\\
+  $tongue
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/satanic.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/satanic.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..c50ceb10a9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/satanic.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+##
+## Satanic cow, source unknown.
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+     $thoughts
+      $thoughts  (__)  
+         (\\/)  
+  /-------\\/    
+ / | 666 ||    
+*  ||----||      
+   ~~    ~~      
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/sheep.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/sheep.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..b0949066b7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/sheep.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
+##
+## The non-flaming sheep.
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC
+  $thoughts
+   $thoughts
+       __     
+      U${eyes}U\\.'\@\@\@\@\@\@`.
+      \\__/(\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@)
+           (\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@)
+           `YY~~~~YY'
+            ||    ||
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/skeleton.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/skeleton.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..72ef358374
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/skeleton.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+##
+## This 'Scowleton' brought to you by one of 
+## {appel,kube,rowe}@csua.berkeley.edu
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+          $thoughts      (__)      
+           $thoughts     /$eyes|  
+            $thoughts   (_"_)*+++++++++*
+                   //I#\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\I\\
+                   I[I|I|||||I I `
+                   I`I'///'' I I
+                   I I       I I
+                   ~ ~       ~ ~
+                     Scowleton
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/small.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/small.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..5b4331963e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/small.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+##
+## A small cow, artist unknown
+##
+$eyes = ".." unless ($eyes);
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+       $thoughts   ,__,
+        $thoughts  ($eyes)____
+           (__)    )\\
+            $tongue||--|| *
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/squirrel.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/squirrel.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..a1afabdd72
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/squirrel.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts
+     $thoughts
+                  _ _
+       | \__/|  .~    ~.
+       /$eyes `./      .'
+      {o__,   \    {
+        / .  . )    \
+        `-` '-' \    }
+       .(   _(   )_.'
+      '---.~_ _ _|
+                                                     
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/stegosaurus.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/stegosaurus.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..2e0decd22b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/stegosaurus.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
+##
+## A stegosaur with a top hat?
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+$thoughts                             .       .
+ $thoughts                           / `.   .' " 
+  $thoughts                  .---.  <    > <    >  .---.
+   $thoughts                 |    \\  \\ - ~ ~ - /  /    |
+         _____          ..-~             ~-..-~
+        |     |   \\~~~\\.'                    `./~~~/
+       ---------   \\__/                        \\__/
+      .'  O    \\     /               /       \\  " 
+     (_____,    `._.'               |         }  \\/~~~/
+      `----.          /       }     |        /    \\__/
+            `-.      |       /      |       /      `. ,~~|
+                ~-.__|      /_ - ~ ^|      /- _      `..-'   
+                     |     /        |     /     ~-.     `-. _  _  _
+                     |_____|        |_____|         ~ - . _ _ _ _ _>
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/supermilker.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/supermilker.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..1424f9e668
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/supermilker.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+##
+## A cow being milked, probably from Lars Smith (lars@csua.berkeley.edu)
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts   ^__^
+   $thoughts  ($eyes)\\_______        ________
+      (__)\\       )\\/\\    |Super |
+       $tongue ||----W |       |Milker|
+          ||    UDDDDDDDDD|______|
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/surgery.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/surgery.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..1f5c112f64
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/surgery.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
+##
+## A cow operation, artist unknown
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+          $thoughts           \\  / 
+           $thoughts           \\/  
+               (__)    /\\         
+               ($eyes)   O  O        
+               _\\/_   //         
+         *    (    ) //       
+          \\  (\\\\    //       
+           \\(  \\\\    )                              
+            (   \\\\   )   /\\                          
+  ___[\\______/^^^^^^^\\__/) o-)__                     
+ |\\__[=======______//________)__\\                    
+ \\|_______________//____________|                    
+     |||      || //||     |||
+     |||      || @.||     |||                        
+      ||      \\/  .\\/      ||                        
+                 . .                                 
+                '.'.`                                
+
+            COW-OPERATION                           
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/turkey.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/turkey.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..cb1c6cbe12
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/turkey.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+##
+## Turkey!
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+  $thoughts                                  ,+*^^*+___+++_
+   $thoughts                           ,*^^^^              )
+    $thoughts                       _+*                     ^**+_
+     $thoughts                    +^       _ _++*+_+++_,         )
+              _+^^*+_    (     ,+*^ ^          \\+_        )
+             {       )  (    ,(    ,_+--+--,      ^)      ^\\
+            { (\@)    } f   ,(  ,+-^ __*_*_  ^^\\_   ^\\       )
+           {:;-/    (_+*-+^^^^^+*+*<_ _++_)_    )    )      /
+          ( /  (    (        ,___    ^*+_+* )   <    <      \\
+           U _/     )    *--<  ) ^\\-----++__)   )    )       )
+            (      )  _(^)^^))  )  )\\^^^^^))^*+/    /       /
+          (      /  (_))_^)) )  )  ))^^^^^))^^^)__/     +^^
+         (     ,/    (^))^))  )  ) ))^^^^^^^))^^)       _)
+          *+__+*       (_))^)  ) ) ))^^^^^^))^^^^^)____*^
+          \\             \\_)^)_)) ))^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^)
+           (_             ^\\__^^^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^^^^)
+             ^\\___            ^\\__^^^^^^))^^^^^^^^)\\\\
+                  ^^^^^\\uuu/^^\\uuu/^^^^\\^\\^\\^\\^\\^\\^\\^\\
+                     ___) >____) >___   ^\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\)
+                    ^^^//\\\\_^^//\\\\_^       ^(\\_\\_\\_\\)
+                      ^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/turtle.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/turtle.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..4286b0948a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/turtle.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
+##
+## A mysterious turtle...
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+    $thoughts                                  ___-------___
+     $thoughts                             _-~~             ~~-_
+      $thoughts                         _-~                    /~-_
+             /^\\__/^\\         /~  \\                   /    \\
+           /|  O|| O|        /      \\_______________/        \\
+          | |___||__|      /       /                \\          \\
+          |          \\    /      /                    \\          \\
+          |   (_______) /______/                        \\_________ \\
+          |         / /         \\                      /            \\
+           \\         \\^\\\\         \\                  /               \\     /
+             \\         ||           \\______________/      _-_       //\\__//
+               \\       ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \\ --/~   ~\\    || __/
+                 ~-----||====/~     |==================|       |/~~~~~
+                  (_(__/  ./     /                    \\_\\      \\.
+                         (_(___/                         \\_____)_)
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/tux.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/tux.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..03e228f8c7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/tux.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+##
+## TuX
+## (c) pborys@p-soft.silesia.linux.org.pl 
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+   $thoughts
+    $thoughts
+        .--.
+       |o_o |
+       |:_/ |
+      //   \\ \\
+     (|     | )
+    /'\\_   _/`\\
+    \\___)=(___/
+
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cows/www.cow b/externals/cowsay/cows/www.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..925ed72ee8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cows/www.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+##
+## A cow wadvertising the World Wide Web, from lim@csua.berkeley.edu
+##
+$the_cow = <<EOC;
+        $thoughts   ^__^
+         $thoughts  ($eyes)\\_______
+            (__)\\       )\\/\\
+             $tongue ||--WWW |
+                ||     ||
+EOC
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cowsay b/externals/cowsay/cowsay
new file mode 100755
index 0000000000..900ca46014
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cowsay
@@ -0,0 +1,187 @@
+#%BANGPERL%
+
+##
+## Cowsay 3.03
+##
+## This file is part of cowsay.  (c) 1999-2000 Tony Monroe.
+##
+
+use Text::Tabs qw(expand);
+use Text::Wrap qw(wrap fill $columns);
+use File::Basename;
+use Getopt::Std;
+use Cwd;
+
+$version = "3.03";
+$progname = basename($0);
+$eyes = "oo";
+$tongue = "  ";
+$cowpath = $ENV{'COWPATH'} || '%PREFIX%/share/cows';
+@message = ();
+$thoughts = "";
+
+## Yeah, this is rude, I know.  But hopefully it gets around a nasty
+## little version dependency.
+
+$Text::Wrap::initial_tab = 8;
+$Text::Wrap::subsequent_tab = 8;
+$Text::Wrap::tabstop = 8;
+
+## One of these days, we'll get it ported to Windows.  Yeah, right.
+
+if (($^O eq "MSWin32") or ($^O eq "Windows_NT")) {	## Many perls, eek!
+    $pathsep = ';';
+} else {
+    $pathsep = ':';
+}
+
+%opts = (
+    'e'		=>	'oo',
+    'f'		=>	'default.cow',
+    'n'		=>	0,
+    'T'		=>	'  ',
+    'W'		=>	40,
+);
+
+getopts('bde:f:ghlLnNpstT:wW:y', \%opts);
+
+&display_usage if $opts{'h'};
+&list_cowfiles if $opts{'l'};
+
+$borg = $opts{'b'};
+$dead = $opts{'d'};
+$greedy = $opts{'g'};
+$paranoid = $opts{'p'};
+$stoned = $opts{'s'};
+$tired = $opts{'t'};
+$wired = $opts{'w'};
+$young = $opts{'y'};
+$eyes = substr($opts{'e'}, 0, 2);
+$tongue = substr($opts{'T'}, 0, 2);
+$the_cow = "";
+
+&slurp_input;
+$Text::Wrap::columns = $opts{'W'};
+@message = ($opts{'n'} ? expand(@message) : 
+	    split("\n", fill("", "", @message)));
+&construct_balloon;
+&construct_face;
+&get_cow;
+print @balloon_lines;
+print $the_cow;
+
+sub list_cowfiles {
+    my $basedir;
+    my @dirfiles;
+    chop($basedir = cwd);
+    for my $d (split(/$pathsep/, $cowpath)) {
+	print "Cow files in $d:\n";
+	opendir(COWDIR, $d) || die "$0: Cannot open $d\n";
+	for my $file (readdir COWDIR) {
+	    if ($file =~ s/\.cow$//) {
+		push(@dirfiles, $file);
+	    }
+	}
+	closedir(COWDIR);
+	print wrap("", "", sort @dirfiles), "\n";
+	@dirfiles = ();
+	chdir($basedir);
+    }
+    exit(0);
+}
+
+sub slurp_input {
+    unless ($ARGV[0]) {
+	chomp(@message = <STDIN>);
+    } else {
+	&display_usage if $opts{'n'};
+	@message = join(' ', @ARGV);
+    }
+}
+
+sub maxlength {
+    my ($l, $m);
+    $m = -1;
+    for my $i (@_) {
+	$l = length $i;
+	$m = $l if ($l > $m);
+    }
+    return $m;
+}
+
+sub construct_balloon {
+    my $max = &maxlength(@message);
+    my $max2 = $max + 2;	## border space fudge.
+    my $format = "%s %-${max}s %s\n";
+    my @border;	## up-left, up-right, down-left, down-right, left, right
+    if ($0 =~ /think/i) {
+	$thoughts = 'o';
+	@border = qw[ ( ) ( ) ( ) ];
+    } elsif (@message < 2) {
+	$thoughts = '\\';
+	@border = qw[ < > ];
+    } else {
+	$thoughts = '\\';
+	if ($V and $V gt v5.6.0) {		# Thanks, perldelta.
+	    @border = qw[ / \\ \\ / | | ];
+	} else {
+	    @border = qw[ / \ \ / | | ];	
+	}
+    }
+    push(@balloon_lines, 
+	" " . ("_" x $max2) . " \n" ,
+	sprintf($format, $border[0], $message[0], $border[1]),
+	(@message < 2 ? "" : 
+	    map { sprintf($format, $border[4], $_, $border[5]) } 
+		@message[1 .. $#message - 1]),
+	(@message < 2 ? "" : 
+	    sprintf($format, $border[2], $message[$#message], $border[3])),
+        " " . ("-" x $max2) . " \n"
+    );
+}
+
+sub construct_face {
+    if ($borg) { $eyes = "=="; }
+    if ($dead) { $eyes = "xx"; $tongue = "U "; }
+    if ($greedy) { $eyes = "\$\$"; }
+    if ($paranoid) { $eyes = "@@"; }
+    if ($stoned) { $eyes = "**"; $tongue = "U "; }
+    if ($tired) { $eyes = "--"; } 
+    if ($wired) { $eyes = "OO"; } 
+    if ($young) { $eyes = ".."; }
+}
+
+sub get_cow {
+##
+## Get a cow from the specified cowfile; otherwise use the default cow
+## which was defined above in $the_cow.
+##
+    my $f = $opts{'f'};
+    my $full = "";
+    if ($opts{'f'} =~ m,/,) {
+	$full = $opts{'f'};
+    } else {
+	for my $d (split(/:/, $cowpath)) {
+	    if (-f "$d/$f") {
+		$full = "$d/$f";
+		last;
+	    } elsif (-f "$d/$f.cow") {
+		$full = "$d/$f.cow";
+		last;
+	    }
+	}
+	if ($full eq "") {
+	    die "$progname: Could not find $f cowfile!\n";
+	}
+    }
+    do $full;
+    die "$progname: $@\n" if $@;
+}
+
+sub display_usage {
+	die <<EOF;
+cow{say,think} version $version, (c) 1999 Tony Monroe
+Usage: $progname [-bdgpstwy] [-h] [-e eyes] [-f cowfile] 
+          [-l] [-n] [-T tongue] [-W wrapcolumn] [message]
+EOF
+}
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/cowsay.1 b/externals/cowsay/cowsay.1
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..7133866af2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/cowsay.1
@@ -0,0 +1,168 @@
+.\" 
+.\" cowsay.1
+.\"
+.\" $Id: cowsay.1,v 1.4 1999/11/04 19:50:40 tony Exp $
+.\"
+.\" This file is part of cowsay.  (c) 1999 Tony Monroe.
+.\"
+.ds Nm Cowsay
+.ds nm cowsay
+.ds Vn 3.02
+.TH \*(nm 1 "$Date: 1999/11/04 19:50:40 $"
+.SH NAME
+\*(nm/cowthink \- configurable speaking/thinking cow (and a bit more)
+.SH SYNOPSIS
+cowsay
+.RB [ \-e 
+.IR eye_string ]
+.RB [ \-f 
+.IR cowfile ]
+.RB [ \-h ]
+.RB [ \-l ]
+.RB [ \-n ]
+.RB [ \-T 
+.IR tongue_string ] 
+.RB [ \-W 
+.IR column ]
+.RB [ \-bdgpstwy ]
+.SH DESCRIPTION
+.I Cowsay
+generates an ASCII picture of a cow saying something provided by the
+user.  If run with no arguments, it accepts standard input, word-wraps
+the message given at about 40 columns, and prints the cow saying the
+given message on standard output.
+.PP
+To aid in the use of arbitrary messages with arbitrary whitespace,
+use the
+.B \-n
+option.  If it is specified, the given message will not be
+word-wrapped.  This is possibly useful if you want to make the cow
+think or speak in figlet(6).  If
+.B \-n
+is specified, there must not be any command-line arguments left
+after all the switches have been processed.
+.PP
+The
+.B \-W
+specifies roughly (where the message should be wrapped.  The default
+is equivalent to
+.B \-W 40
+i.e. wrap words at or before the 40th column.
+.PP
+If any command-line arguments are left over after all switches have
+been processed, they become the cow's message.  The program will not
+accept standard input for a message in this case.
+.PP
+There are several provided modes which change the appearance of the
+cow depending on its particular emotional/physical state.  The 
+.B \-b
+option initiates Borg mode; 
+.B \-d
+causes the cow to appear dead; 
+.B \-g
+invokes greedy mode;
+.B \-p
+causes a state of paranoia to come over the cow;
+.B \-s
+makes the cow appear thoroughly stoned;
+.B \-t
+yields a tired cow;
+.B \-w
+is somewhat the opposite of 
+.BR \-t , 
+and initiates wired mode;
+.B \-y
+brings on the cow's youthful appearance.
+.PP
+The user may specify the
+.B \-e
+option to select the appearance of the cow's eyes, in which case
+the first two characters of the argument string
+.I eye_string
+will be used.  The default eyes are 'oo'.  The tongue is similarly
+configurable through
+.B \-T
+and
+.IR tongue_string ;
+it must be two characters and does not appear by default.  However,
+it does appear in the 'dead' and 'stoned' modes.  Any configuration
+done by
+.B \-e
+and
+.B \-T
+will be lost if one of the provided modes is used.
+.PP
+The
+.B \-f
+option specifies a particular cow picture file (``cowfile'') to
+use.  If the cowfile spec contains '/' then it will be interpreted
+as a path relative to the current directory.  Otherwise, cowsay
+will search the path specified in the 
+.B COWPATH 
+environment variable.
+To list all cowfiles on the current 
+.BR COWPATH , 
+invoke
+.B \*(nm
+with the
+.B \-l
+switch.
+.PP
+If the program is invoked as 
+.B cowthink 
+then the cow will think its message instead of saying it.
+.PP
+.SH COWFILE FORMAT
+A cowfile is made up of a simple block of
+.BR perl (1)
+code, which assigns a picture of a cow to the variable
+.BR $the_cow .
+Should you wish to customize the eyes or the tongue of the cow,
+then the variables
+.B $eyes 
+and 
+.B $tongue
+may be used.  The trail leading up to the cow's message balloon is
+composed of the character(s) in the
+.B $thoughts
+variable.  Any backslashes must be reduplicated to prevent
+interpolation.  The name of a cowfile should end with
+.BR .cow ,
+otherwise it is assumed not to be a cowfile.  Also, at-signs (``@'')
+must be backslashed because that is what Perl 5 expects.
+.PP
+.SH COMPATIBILITY WITH OLDER VERSIONS
+.PP
+What older versions? :-)
+.PP
+Version 3.x is fully backward-compatible with 2.x versions.  If
+you're still using a 1.x version, consider upgrading.  And tell me
+where you got the older versions, since I didn't exactly put them
+up for world-wide access.
+.PP
+Oh, just so you know, this manual page documents version \*(Vn of
+cowsay.
+.SH ENVIRONMENT
+The COWPATH environment variable, if present, will be used to search
+for cowfiles.  It contains a colon-separated list of directories,
+much like
+.B PATH or
+.BR MANPATH .
+It should always contain the
+.B /usr/local/share/cows
+directory, or at least a directory with a file called 
+.B default.cow
+in it.
+.SH FILES
+.B %PREFIX%/share/cows
+holds a sample set of cowfiles.  If your
+.B COWPATH
+is not explicitly set, it automatically contains this directory.
+.SH BUGS
+If there are any, please notify the author at the address below.
+.SH AUTHOR
+Tony Monroe (tony@nog.net), with suggestions from Shannon
+Appel (appel@CSUA.Berkeley.EDU) and contributions from Anthony Polito
+(aspolito@CSUA.Berkeley.EDU).
+.SH SEE ALSO
+perl(1), wall(1), nwrite(1), figlet(6)
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/install.sh b/externals/cowsay/install.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000000..a359cd15d5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/install.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+#!/bin/sh
+
+##
+## install.sh
+##
+## Installation script for cowsay.
+##
+## $Id: install.sh,v 1.5 1999/11/01 20:19:21 tony Exp $
+##
+## This file is part of cowsay.  (c) 1999 Tony Monroe.
+##
+
+rcs_id='$Id: install.sh,v 1.5 1999/11/01 20:19:21 tony Exp $'
+
+filelist='cows'
+
+cat <<DOG
+===================
+cowsay Installation
+===================
+
+Searching for useful perl executables...
+DOG
+
+backdoor=$1
+
+pathdirs=`echo $PATH | tr : " "`
+for p in $pathdirs; do
+	set $p/perl $p/perl5*
+	while [ ! -z "$1" ]; do
+		if [ -x "$1" ]; then
+			echo Found perl in $1
+			perls="$perls $1"
+		fi
+		shift
+	done
+done
+for perl in $perls; do
+	if $perl -MText::Wrap -e0 >/dev/null 2>&1; then
+		echo Found a good perl in $perl
+		goodperls="$goodperls $perl"
+	fi
+done
+echo The following perl executables will run cowsay:
+echo $goodperls
+echo I recommend the latest stable perl you can find.
+set $goodperls
+if [ -z "$1" ]; then
+	echo Ack!  You do not have Perl 5 installed correctly!
+	echo Get thee to CPAN!
+	exit 1
+fi
+usethisperl=$1
+echo I will be using $1 because I know it will work.
+
+echo Now I need an installation prefix.  I will use /usr/local unless
+printf "you give me a better idea here: "
+if [ -n "$backdoor" ]; then
+	prefix=$backdoor
+	printf "%s (specified on command line)\n" $prefix
+else
+	read prefix
+fi
+
+PREFIX=${prefix:-/usr/local}
+
+echo Okay, time to install this puppy.
+
+echo s,%BANGPERL%,!$usethisperl,\; > install.pl
+echo s,%PREFIX%,$PREFIX,\; >> install.pl
+set -x
+mkdir -p $PREFIX/bin || (mkdir $PREFIX; mkdir $PREFIX/bin)
+$usethisperl -p install.pl cowsay > $PREFIX/bin/cowsay
+chmod a+x $PREFIX/bin/cowsay
+ln -s cowsay $PREFIX/bin/cowthink
+mkdir -p $PREFIX/man/man1 || ($mkdir $PREFIX; mkdir $PREFIX/man; mkdir $PREFIX/man/man1)
+$usethisperl -p install.pl cowsay.1 > $PREFIX/man/man1/cowsay.1
+chmod a+r $PREFIX/man/man1/cowsay.1
+ln -s cowsay.1 $PREFIX/man/man1/cowthink.1
+mkdir -p $PREFIX/share/cows || (mkdir $PREFIX; mkdir $PREFIX/share; mkdir $PREFIX/share/cows)
+tar -cf - $filelist | (cd $PREFIX/share && tar -xvf -)
+set +x
+
+echo Okay, let us see if the install actually worked.
+
+if [ ! -f $PREFIX/share/cows/default.cow ]; then
+    echo The default cow file did not make it across!
+    echo Ooops, it failed...sorry!
+    exit 1
+fi
+
+echo Installation complete!  Enjoy the cows!
diff --git a/externals/cowsay/pgp_public_key.txt b/externals/cowsay/pgp_public_key.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..135735e6f9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/externals/cowsay/pgp_public_key.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+-----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
+Version: 2.6.2
+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+=WpM4
+-----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
diff --git a/resources/cows/builtin/companion.cow b/resources/cows/builtin/companion.cow
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..e3514cda6f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/resources/cows/builtin/companion.cow
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+ $thoughts
+  $thoughts
+    /---\__/---\\
+    | / .... \ ||
+     \ ..--.. //
+     |..($eyes). ||
+     / ..--.. \\
+    | \ .... / ||
+    \---/--\---//
diff --git a/resources/cows/custom/README b/resources/cows/custom/README
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..d0c28b6a56
--- /dev/null
+++ b/resources/cows/custom/README
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+You can add custom ".cow" files here to make them available to the "cowsay"
+interpreter in Remarkup.
diff --git a/src/infrastructure/markup/interpreter/PhabricatorRemarkupCowsayBlockInterpreter.php b/src/infrastructure/markup/interpreter/PhabricatorRemarkupCowsayBlockInterpreter.php
index d1c4de1154..66801d9578 100644
--- a/src/infrastructure/markup/interpreter/PhabricatorRemarkupCowsayBlockInterpreter.php
+++ b/src/infrastructure/markup/interpreter/PhabricatorRemarkupCowsayBlockInterpreter.php
@@ -1,60 +1,68 @@
 <?php
 
 final class PhabricatorRemarkupCowsayBlockInterpreter
   extends PhutilRemarkupBlockInterpreter {
 
   public function getInterpreterName() {
     return 'cowsay';
   }
 
   public function markupContent($content, array $argv) {
-    if (!Filesystem::binaryExists('cowsay')) {
-      return $this->markupError(
-        pht(
-          'Unable to locate the `%s` binary. Install cowsay.',
-          'cowsay'));
-    }
-
-    $bin = idx($argv, 'think') ? 'cowthink' : 'cowsay';
+    $action = idx($argv, 'think') ? 'think' : 'say';
     $eyes = idx($argv, 'eyes', 'oo');
     $tongue = idx($argv, 'tongue', '  ');
-    $cow = idx($argv, 'cow', 'default');
-
-    // NOTE: Strip this aggressively to prevent nonsense like
-    // `cow=/etc/passwd`. We could build a whiltelist with `cowsay -l`.
-    $cow = preg_replace('/[^a-z.-]+/', '', $cow);
-
-    $future = new ExecFuture(
-      '%s -e %s -T %s -f %s ',
-      $bin,
-      $eyes,
-      $tongue,
-      $cow);
-
-    $future->setTimeout(15);
-    $future->write($content);
-
-    list($err, $stdout, $stderr) = $future->resolve();
-
-    if ($err) {
-      return $this->markupError(
-        pht(
-          'Execution of `%s` failed: %s',
-          'cowsay',
-          $stderr));
+
+    $map = self::getCowMap();
+
+    $cow = idx($argv, 'cow');
+    $cow = phutil_utf8_strtolower($cow);
+    if (empty($map[$cow])) {
+      $cow = 'default';
     }
 
+    $result = id(new PhutilCowsay())
+      ->setTemplate($map[$cow])
+      ->setAction($action)
+      ->setEyes($eyes)
+      ->setTongue($tongue)
+      ->setText($content)
+      ->renderCow();
 
     if ($this->getEngine()->isTextMode()) {
-      return $stdout;
+      return $result;
     }
 
     return phutil_tag(
       'div',
       array(
         'class' => 'PhabricatorMonospaced remarkup-cowsay',
       ),
-      $stdout);
+      $result);
+  }
+
+  private static function getCowMap() {
+    $root = dirname(phutil_get_library_root('phabricator'));
+
+    $directories = array(
+      $root.'/externals/cowsay/cows/',
+      $root.'/resources/cows/builtin/',
+      $root.'/resources/cows/custom/',
+    );
+
+    $map = array();
+    foreach ($directories as $directory) {
+      foreach (Filesystem::listDirectory($directory, false) as $cow_file) {
+        $matches = null;
+        if (!preg_match('/^(.*)\.cow\z/', $cow_file, $matches)) {
+          continue;
+        }
+        $cow_name = $matches[1];
+        $cow_name = phutil_utf8_strtolower($cow_name);
+        $map[$cow_name] = Filesystem::readFile($directory.$cow_file);
+      }
+    }
+
+    return $map;
   }
 
 }