diff --git a/resources/sql/autopatches/20140130.mail.1.retry.sql b/resources/sql/autopatches/20140130.mail.1.retry.sql
new file mode 100644
--- /dev/null
+++ b/resources/sql/autopatches/20140130.mail.1.retry.sql
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+ALTER TABLE {$NAMESPACE}_metamta.metamta_mail
+  DROP COLUMN retryCount;
diff --git a/resources/sql/autopatches/20140130.mail.2.next.sql b/resources/sql/autopatches/20140130.mail.2.next.sql
new file mode 100644
--- /dev/null
+++ b/resources/sql/autopatches/20140130.mail.2.next.sql
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+ALTER TABLE {$NAMESPACE}_metamta.metamta_mail
+  DROP COLUMN nextRetry;
diff --git a/src/applications/metamta/PhabricatorMetaMTAWorker.php b/src/applications/metamta/PhabricatorMetaMTAWorker.php
--- a/src/applications/metamta/PhabricatorMetaMTAWorker.php
+++ b/src/applications/metamta/PhabricatorMetaMTAWorker.php
@@ -3,42 +3,39 @@
 final class PhabricatorMetaMTAWorker
   extends PhabricatorWorker {
 
-  private $message;
+  public function getMaximumRetryCount() {
+    return 250;
+  }
 
   public function getWaitBeforeRetry(PhabricatorWorkerTask $task) {
-    $message = $this->loadMessage();
-    if (!$message) {
-      return null;
-    }
-
-    $wait = max($message->getNextRetry() - time(), 0) + 15;
-    return $wait;
+    return ($task->getFailureCount() * 15);
   }
 
   public function doWork() {
     $message = $this->loadMessage();
-    if (!$message
-        || $message->getStatus() != PhabricatorMetaMTAMail::STATUS_QUEUE) {
+    if (!$message) {
+      throw new PhabricatorWorkerPermanentFailureException(
+        pht('Unable to load message!'));
+    }
+
+    if ($message->getStatus() != PhabricatorMetaMTAMail::STATUS_QUEUE) {
       return;
     }
+
     $id = $message->getID();
     $message->sendNow();
+
     // task failed if the message is still queued
     // (instead of sent, void, or failed)
     if ($message->getStatus() == PhabricatorMetaMTAMail::STATUS_QUEUE) {
-      throw new Exception('Failed to send message');
+      throw new Exception(
+        pht('Failed to send message.'));
     }
   }
 
   private function loadMessage() {
-    if (!$this->message) {
-      $message_id = $this->getTaskData();
-      $this->message = id(new PhabricatorMetaMTAMail())->load($message_id);
-      if (!$this->message) {
-        return null;
-      }
-    }
-    return $this->message;
+    $message_id = $this->getTaskData();
+    return id(new PhabricatorMetaMTAMail())->load($message_id);
   }
 
   public function renderForDisplay(PhabricatorUser $viewer) {
diff --git a/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementResendWorkflow.php b/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementResendWorkflow.php
--- a/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementResendWorkflow.php
+++ b/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementResendWorkflow.php
@@ -54,9 +54,6 @@
       }
 
       $message->setStatus(PhabricatorMetaMTAMail::STATUS_QUEUE);
-      $message->setRetryCount(0);
-      $message->setNextRetry(time());
-
       $message->save();
 
       $mailer_task = PhabricatorWorker::scheduleTask(
diff --git a/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementShowOutboundWorkflow.php b/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementShowOutboundWorkflow.php
--- a/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementShowOutboundWorkflow.php
+++ b/src/applications/metamta/management/PhabricatorMailManagementShowOutboundWorkflow.php
@@ -50,8 +50,6 @@
       $info[] = pht('PROPERTIES');
       $info[] = pht('ID: %d', $message->getID());
       $info[] = pht('Status: %s', $message->getStatus());
-      $info[] = pht('Retry Count: %s', $message->getRetryCount());
-      $info[] = pht('Next Retry: %s', $message->getNextRetry());
       $info[] = pht('Related PHID: %s', $message->getRelatedPHID());
       $info[] = pht('Message: %s', $message->getMessage());
 
diff --git a/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAMail.php b/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAMail.php
--- a/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAMail.php
+++ b/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAMail.php
@@ -1,8 +1,6 @@
 <?php
 
 /**
- * See #394445 for an explanation of why this thing even exists.
- *
  * @task recipients   Managing Recipients
  */
 final class PhabricatorMetaMTAMail extends PhabricatorMetaMTADAO {
@@ -12,14 +10,11 @@
   const STATUS_FAIL  = 'fail';
   const STATUS_VOID  = 'void';
 
-  const MAX_RETRIES   = 250;
   const RETRY_DELAY   = 5;
 
   protected $parameters;
   protected $status;
   protected $message;
-  protected $retryCount;
-  protected $nextRetry;
   protected $relatedPHID;
 
   private $excludePHIDs = array();
@@ -28,8 +23,6 @@
   public function __construct() {
 
     $this->status     = self::STATUS_QUEUE;
-    $this->retryCount = 0;
-    $this->nextRetry  = time();
     $this->parameters = array();
 
     parent::__construct();
@@ -228,15 +221,6 @@
     return $this;
   }
 
-  public function getSimulatedFailureCount() {
-    return nonempty($this->getParam('simulated-failures'), 0);
-  }
-
-  public function setSimulatedFailureCount($count) {
-    $this->setParam('simulated-failures', $count);
-    return $this;
-  }
-
   public function getWorkerTaskID() {
     return $this->getParam('worker-task');
   }
@@ -339,10 +323,6 @@
       if ($this->getStatus() != self::STATUS_QUEUE) {
         throw new Exception("Trying to send an already-sent mail!");
       }
-
-      if (time() < $this->getNextRetry()) {
-        throw new Exception("Trying to send an email before next retry!");
-      }
     }
 
     try {
@@ -611,32 +591,20 @@
       return $this->save();
     }
 
-    if ($this->getRetryCount() < $this->getSimulatedFailureCount()) {
+    try {
+      $ok = $mailer->send();
+      $error = null;
+    } catch (PhabricatorMetaMTAPermanentFailureException $ex) {
+      $this->setStatus(self::STATUS_FAIL);
+      $this->setMessage($ex->getMessage());
+      return $this->save();
+    } catch (Exception $ex) {
       $ok = false;
-      $error = 'Simulated failure.';
-    } else {
-      try {
-        $ok = $mailer->send();
-        $error = null;
-      } catch (PhabricatorMetaMTAPermanentFailureException $ex) {
-        $this->setStatus(self::STATUS_FAIL);
-        $this->setMessage($ex->getMessage());
-        return $this->save();
-      } catch (Exception $ex) {
-        $ok = false;
-        $error = $ex->getMessage()."\n".$ex->getTraceAsString();
-      }
+      $error = $ex->getMessage()."\n".$ex->getTraceAsString();
     }
 
     if (!$ok) {
       $this->setMessage($error);
-      if ($this->getRetryCount() > self::MAX_RETRIES) {
-        $this->setStatus(self::STATUS_FAIL);
-      } else {
-        $this->setRetryCount($this->getRetryCount() + 1);
-        $next_retry = time() + ($this->getRetryCount() * self::RETRY_DELAY);
-        $this->setNextRetry($next_retry);
-      }
     } else {
       $this->setStatus(self::STATUS_SENT);
     }