diff --git a/src/applications/almanac/storage/AlmanacModularTransaction.php b/src/applications/almanac/storage/AlmanacModularTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/almanac/storage/AlmanacModularTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/almanac/storage/AlmanacModularTransaction.php
@@ -7,8 +7,4 @@
     return 'almanac';
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
 }
diff --git a/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthPasswordTransaction.php b/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthPasswordTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthPasswordTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthPasswordTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return PhabricatorAuthPasswordPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhabricatorAuthPasswordTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthProviderConfigTransaction.php b/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthProviderConfigTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthProviderConfigTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthProviderConfigTransaction.php
@@ -33,10 +33,6 @@
     return PhabricatorAuthAuthProviderPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getIcon() {
     $old = $this->getOldValue();
     $new = $this->getNewValue();
diff --git a/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthSSHKeyTransaction.php b/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthSSHKeyTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthSSHKeyTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/auth/storage/PhabricatorAuthSSHKeyTransaction.php
@@ -15,10 +15,6 @@
     return PhabricatorAuthSSHKeyPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getTitle() {
     $author_phid = $this->getAuthorPHID();
 
diff --git a/src/applications/config/storage/PhabricatorConfigTransaction.php b/src/applications/config/storage/PhabricatorConfigTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/config/storage/PhabricatorConfigTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/config/storage/PhabricatorConfigTransaction.php
@@ -13,10 +13,6 @@
     return PhabricatorConfigConfigPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getTitle() {
     $author_phid = $this->getAuthorPHID();
 
diff --git a/src/applications/diviner/storage/DivinerLiveBookTransaction.php b/src/applications/diviner/storage/DivinerLiveBookTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/diviner/storage/DivinerLiveBookTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/diviner/storage/DivinerLiveBookTransaction.php
@@ -11,8 +11,4 @@
     return DivinerBookPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
 }
diff --git a/src/applications/fund/storage/FundBackerTransaction.php b/src/applications/fund/storage/FundBackerTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/fund/storage/FundBackerTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/fund/storage/FundBackerTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return FundBackerPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'FundBackerTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/herald/action/HeraldCommentAction.php b/src/applications/herald/action/HeraldCommentAction.php
--- a/src/applications/herald/action/HeraldCommentAction.php
+++ b/src/applications/herald/action/HeraldCommentAction.php
@@ -19,12 +19,9 @@
     }
 
     $xaction = $object->getApplicationTransactionTemplate();
-    try {
-      $comment = $xaction->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
-      if (!$comment) {
-        return false;
-      }
-    } catch (PhutilMethodNotImplementedException $ex) {
+
+    $comment = $xaction->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
+    if (!$comment) {
       return false;
     }
 
diff --git a/src/applications/herald/storage/HeraldWebhookTransaction.php b/src/applications/herald/storage/HeraldWebhookTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/herald/storage/HeraldWebhookTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/herald/storage/HeraldWebhookTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return HeraldWebhookPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'HeraldWebhookTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAApplicationEmailTransaction.php b/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAApplicationEmailTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAApplicationEmailTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/metamta/storage/PhabricatorMetaMTAApplicationEmailTransaction.php
@@ -16,8 +16,4 @@
     return PhabricatorMetaMTAApplicationEmailPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
 }
diff --git a/src/applications/oauthserver/storage/PhabricatorOAuthServerTransaction.php b/src/applications/oauthserver/storage/PhabricatorOAuthServerTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/oauthserver/storage/PhabricatorOAuthServerTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/oauthserver/storage/PhabricatorOAuthServerTransaction.php
@@ -19,10 +19,6 @@
     return PhabricatorOAuthServerClientPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getTitle() {
     $author_phid = $this->getAuthorPHID();
     $old = $this->getOldValue();
diff --git a/src/applications/owners/storage/PhabricatorOwnersPackageTransaction.php b/src/applications/owners/storage/PhabricatorOwnersPackageTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/owners/storage/PhabricatorOwnersPackageTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/owners/storage/PhabricatorOwnersPackageTransaction.php
@@ -15,8 +15,4 @@
     return 'PhabricatorOwnersPackageTransactionType';
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
 }
diff --git a/src/applications/passphrase/storage/PassphraseCredentialTransaction.php b/src/applications/passphrase/storage/PassphraseCredentialTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/passphrase/storage/PassphraseCredentialTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/passphrase/storage/PassphraseCredentialTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return PassphraseCredentialPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PassphraseCredentialTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserTransaction.php b/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return PhabricatorPeopleUserPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhabricatorUserTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/phame/storage/PhameBlogTransaction.php b/src/applications/phame/storage/PhameBlogTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/phame/storage/PhameBlogTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/phame/storage/PhameBlogTransaction.php
@@ -15,10 +15,6 @@
     return PhabricatorPhameBlogPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhameBlogTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/phlux/storage/PhluxTransaction.php b/src/applications/phlux/storage/PhluxTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/phlux/storage/PhluxTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/phlux/storage/PhluxTransaction.php
@@ -13,10 +13,6 @@
     return PhluxVariablePHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getTitle() {
     $author_phid = $this->getAuthorPHID();
 
diff --git a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneAccountTransaction.php b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneAccountTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneAccountTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneAccountTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return PhortuneAccountPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhortuneAccountTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneCartTransaction.php b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneCartTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneCartTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneCartTransaction.php
@@ -19,10 +19,6 @@
     return PhortuneCartPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function shouldHideForMail(array $xactions) {
     switch ($this->getTransactionType()) {
       case self::TYPE_CREATED:
diff --git a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneMerchantTransaction.php b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneMerchantTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneMerchantTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortuneMerchantTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return PhortuneMerchantPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhortuneMerchantTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortunePaymentProviderConfigTransaction.php b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortunePaymentProviderConfigTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortunePaymentProviderConfigTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/phortune/storage/PhortunePaymentProviderConfigTransaction.php
@@ -17,10 +17,6 @@
     return PhortunePaymentProviderPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getTitle() {
     $author_phid = $this->getAuthorPHID();
 
diff --git a/src/applications/project/storage/PhabricatorProjectTransaction.php b/src/applications/project/storage/PhabricatorProjectTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/project/storage/PhabricatorProjectTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/project/storage/PhabricatorProjectTransaction.php
@@ -19,10 +19,6 @@
     return PhabricatorProjectProjectPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhabricatorProjectTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/repository/storage/PhabricatorRepositoryTransaction.php b/src/applications/repository/storage/PhabricatorRepositoryTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/repository/storage/PhabricatorRepositoryTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/repository/storage/PhabricatorRepositoryTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return PhabricatorRepositoryRepositoryPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhabricatorRepositoryTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/search/engineextension/PhabricatorFulltextIndexEngineExtension.php b/src/applications/search/engineextension/PhabricatorFulltextIndexEngineExtension.php
--- a/src/applications/search/engineextension/PhabricatorFulltextIndexEngineExtension.php
+++ b/src/applications/search/engineextension/PhabricatorFulltextIndexEngineExtension.php
@@ -70,12 +70,8 @@
   private function getCommentVersion($object) {
     $xaction = $object->getApplicationTransactionTemplate();
 
-    try {
-      $comment = $xaction->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
-      if (!$comment) {
-        return 'none';
-      }
-    } catch (Exception $ex) {
+    $comment = $xaction->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
+    if (!$comment) {
       return 'none';
     }
 
diff --git a/src/applications/search/storage/PhabricatorProfileMenuItemConfigurationTransaction.php b/src/applications/search/storage/PhabricatorProfileMenuItemConfigurationTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/search/storage/PhabricatorProfileMenuItemConfigurationTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/search/storage/PhabricatorProfileMenuItemConfigurationTransaction.php
@@ -20,8 +20,4 @@
     return PhabricatorProfileMenuItemPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
 }
diff --git a/src/applications/settings/storage/PhabricatorUserPreferencesTransaction.php b/src/applications/settings/storage/PhabricatorUserPreferencesTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/settings/storage/PhabricatorUserPreferencesTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/settings/storage/PhabricatorUserPreferencesTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return 'user';
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getApplicationTransactionType() {
     return PhabricatorUserPreferencesPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/spaces/storage/PhabricatorSpacesNamespaceTransaction.php b/src/applications/spaces/storage/PhabricatorSpacesNamespaceTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/spaces/storage/PhabricatorSpacesNamespaceTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/spaces/storage/PhabricatorSpacesNamespaceTransaction.php
@@ -11,10 +11,6 @@
     return PhabricatorSpacesNamespacePHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getBaseTransactionClass() {
     return 'PhabricatorSpacesNamespaceTransactionType';
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/transactions/editor/PhabricatorApplicationTransactionEditor.php b/src/applications/transactions/editor/PhabricatorApplicationTransactionEditor.php
--- a/src/applications/transactions/editor/PhabricatorApplicationTransactionEditor.php
+++ b/src/applications/transactions/editor/PhabricatorApplicationTransactionEditor.php
@@ -360,12 +360,7 @@
     }
 
     if ($template) {
-      try {
-        $comment = $template->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
-      } catch (PhutilMethodNotImplementedException $ex) {
-        $comment = null;
-      }
-
+      $comment = $template->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
       if ($comment) {
         $types[] = PhabricatorTransactions::TYPE_COMMENT;
       }
diff --git a/src/applications/transactions/engineextension/PhabricatorCommentEditEngineExtension.php b/src/applications/transactions/engineextension/PhabricatorCommentEditEngineExtension.php
--- a/src/applications/transactions/engineextension/PhabricatorCommentEditEngineExtension.php
+++ b/src/applications/transactions/engineextension/PhabricatorCommentEditEngineExtension.php
@@ -23,12 +23,7 @@
     PhabricatorApplicationTransactionInterface $object) {
 
     $xaction = $object->getApplicationTransactionTemplate();
-
-    try {
-      $comment = $xaction->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
-    } catch (PhutilMethodNotImplementedException $ex) {
-      $comment = null;
-    }
+    $comment = $xaction->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
 
     return (bool)$comment;
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorApplicationTransaction.php b/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorApplicationTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorApplicationTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorApplicationTransaction.php
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@
   }
 
   public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    throw new PhutilMethodNotImplementedException();
+    return null;
   }
 
   public function getMetadataValue($key, $default = null) {
@@ -1731,12 +1731,7 @@
     PhabricatorDestructionEngine $engine) {
 
     $this->openTransaction();
-      $comment_template = null;
-      try {
-        $comment_template = $this->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
-      } catch (Exception $ex) {
-        // Continue; no comments for these transactions.
-      }
+      $comment_template = $this->getApplicationTransactionCommentObject();
 
       if ($comment_template) {
         $comments = $comment_template->loadAllWhere(
diff --git a/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorEditEngineConfigurationTransaction.php b/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorEditEngineConfigurationTransaction.php
--- a/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorEditEngineConfigurationTransaction.php
+++ b/src/applications/transactions/storage/PhabricatorEditEngineConfigurationTransaction.php
@@ -23,10 +23,6 @@
     return PhabricatorEditEngineConfigurationPHIDType::TYPECONST;
   }
 
-  public function getApplicationTransactionCommentObject() {
-    return null;
-  }
-
   public function getTitle() {
     $author_phid = $this->getAuthorPHID();