diff --git a/src/applications/macro/engine/PhabricatorMemeEngine.php b/src/applications/macro/engine/PhabricatorMemeEngine.php
--- a/src/applications/macro/engine/PhabricatorMemeEngine.php
+++ b/src/applications/macro/engine/PhabricatorMemeEngine.php
@@ -174,6 +174,15 @@
   private function newAssetData(PhabricatorFile $template) {
     $template_data = $template->loadFileData();
 
+    // When we aren't adding text, just return the data unmodified. This saves
+    // us from doing expensive stitching when we aren't actually making any
+    // changes to the image.
+    $above_text = $this->getAboveText();
+    $below_text = $this->getBelowText();
+    if (!strlen(trim($above_text)) && !strlen(trim($below_text))) {
+      return $template_data;
+    }
+
     $result = $this->newImagemagickAsset($template, $template_data);
     if ($result) {
       return $result;