diff --git a/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUser.php b/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUser.php
--- a/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUser.php
+++ b/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUser.php
@@ -490,38 +490,28 @@
       $settings = $this->loadGlobalSettings();
     }
 
-    // NOTE: To slightly improve performance, we're using all settings here,
-    // not just settings that are enabled for the current viewer. It's fine to
-    // get the value of a setting that we wouldn't let the user edit in the UI.
-    $defaults = PhabricatorSetting::getAllSettings();
-
     if (array_key_exists($key, $settings)) {
       $value = $settings[$key];
+      return $this->writeUserSettingCache($key, $value);
+    }
+
+    $cache = PhabricatorCaches::getRuntimeCache();
+    $cache_key = "settings.defaults({$key})";
+    $cache_map = $cache->getKeys(array($cache_key));
 
-      // Make sure the value is valid before we return it. This makes things
-      // more robust when options are changed or removed.
+    if ($cache_map) {
+      $value = $cache_map[$cache_key];
+    } else {
+      $defaults = PhabricatorSetting::getAllSettings();
       if (isset($defaults[$key])) {
-        try {
-          id(clone $defaults[$key])
-            ->setViewer($this)
-            ->assertValidValue($value);
-
-          return $this->writeUserSettingCache($key, $value);
-        } catch (Exception $ex) {
-          // Fall through below and return the default value.
-        }
+        $value = id(clone $defaults[$key])
+          ->setViewer($this)
+          ->getSettingDefaultValue();
       } else {
-        // This is an ad-hoc setting with no controlling object.
-        return $this->writeUserSettingCache($key, $value);
+        $value = null;
       }
-    }
 
-    if (isset($defaults[$key])) {
-      $value = id(clone $defaults[$key])
-        ->setViewer($this)
-        ->getSettingDefaultValue();
-    } else {
-      $value = null;
+      $cache->setKey($cache_key, $value);
     }
 
     return $this->writeUserSettingCache($key, $value);
@@ -555,12 +545,16 @@
     return $this->getUserSetting(PhabricatorTimezoneSetting::SETTINGKEY);
   }
 
+  public static function getGlobalSettingsCacheKey() {
+    return 'user.settings.globals.v1';
+  }
+
   private function loadGlobalSettings() {
-    $cache_key = 'user.settings.global';
-    $cache = PhabricatorCaches::getRequestCache();
-    $settings = $cache->getKey($cache_key);
+    $cache_key = self::getGlobalSettingsCacheKey();
+    $cache = PhabricatorCaches::getMutableStructureCache();
 
-    if ($settings === null) {
+    $settings = $cache->getKey($cache_key);
+    if (!$settings) {
       $preferences = PhabricatorUserPreferences::loadGlobalPreferences($this);
       $settings = $preferences->getPreferences();
       $cache->setKey($cache_key, $settings);
@@ -1495,9 +1489,27 @@
       throw new PhabricatorDataNotAttachedException($this);
     }
 
+    $user_phid = $this->getPHID();
+
+    // Try to read the actual cache before we generate a new value. We can
+    // end up here via Conduit, which does not use normal sessions and can
+    // not pick up a free cache load during session identification.
+    if ($user_phid) {
+      $raw_data = PhabricatorUserCache::readCaches(
+        $type,
+        $key,
+        array($user_phid));
+      if (array_key_exists($user_phid, $raw_data)) {
+        $raw_value = $raw_data[$user_phid];
+        $usable_value = $type->getValueFromStorage($raw_value);
+        $this->rawCacheData[$key] = $raw_value;
+        $this->usableCacheData[$key] = $usable_value;
+        return $usable_value;
+      }
+    }
+
     $usable_value = $type->getDefaultValue();
 
-    $user_phid = $this->getPHID();
     if ($user_phid) {
       $map = $type->newValueForUsers($key, array($this));
       if (array_key_exists($user_phid, $map)) {
diff --git a/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserCache.php b/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserCache.php
--- a/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserCache.php
+++ b/src/applications/people/storage/PhabricatorUserCache.php
@@ -96,6 +96,26 @@
     unset($unguarded);
   }
 
+  public static function readCaches(
+    PhabricatorUserCacheType $type,
+    $key,
+    array $user_phids) {
+
+    $table = new self();
+    $conn = $table->establishConnection('r');
+
+    $rows = queryfx_all(
+      $conn,
+      'SELECT userPHID, cacheData FROM %T WHERE userPHID IN (%Ls)
+        AND cacheType = %s AND cacheIndex = %s',
+      $table->getTableName(),
+      $user_phids,
+      $type->getUserCacheType(),
+      PhabricatorHash::digestForIndex($key));
+
+    return ipull($rows, 'cacheData', 'userPHID');
+  }
+
   public static function clearCache($key, $user_phid) {
     return self::clearCaches($key, array($user_phid));
   }
diff --git a/src/applications/settings/editor/PhabricatorUserPreferencesEditor.php b/src/applications/settings/editor/PhabricatorUserPreferencesEditor.php
--- a/src/applications/settings/editor/PhabricatorUserPreferencesEditor.php
+++ b/src/applications/settings/editor/PhabricatorUserPreferencesEditor.php
@@ -158,6 +158,9 @@
         PhabricatorUserPreferencesCacheType::KEY_PREFERENCES,
         $user_phid);
     } else {
+      $cache = PhabricatorCaches::getMutableStructureCache();
+      $cache->deleteKey(PhabricatorUserPreferences::getGlobalCacheKey());
+
       PhabricatorUserCache::clearCacheForAllUsers(
         PhabricatorUserPreferencesCacheType::KEY_PREFERENCES);
     }
diff --git a/src/applications/settings/setting/PhabricatorPinnedApplicationsSetting.php b/src/applications/settings/setting/PhabricatorPinnedApplicationsSetting.php
--- a/src/applications/settings/setting/PhabricatorPinnedApplicationsSetting.php
+++ b/src/applications/settings/setting/PhabricatorPinnedApplicationsSetting.php
@@ -10,12 +10,7 @@
   }
 
   public function getSettingDefaultValue() {
-    $viewer = $this->getViewer();
-
-    // If we're editing a template, just show every available application.
-    if (!$viewer) {
-      $viewer = PhabricatorUser::getOmnipotentUser();
-    }
+    $viewer = PhabricatorUser::getOmnipotentUser();
 
     $applications = id(new PhabricatorApplicationQuery())
       ->setViewer($viewer)