diff --git a/src/__phutil_library_map__.php b/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
--- a/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
+++ b/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
@@ -2688,6 +2688,7 @@
     'PhabricatorIconSetEditField' => 'applications/transactions/editfield/PhabricatorIconSetEditField.php',
     'PhabricatorIconSetIcon' => 'applications/files/iconset/PhabricatorIconSetIcon.php',
     'PhabricatorImageMacroRemarkupRule' => 'applications/macro/markup/PhabricatorImageMacroRemarkupRule.php',
+    'PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule' => 'applications/files/markup/PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule.php',
     'PhabricatorImageTransformer' => 'applications/files/PhabricatorImageTransformer.php',
     'PhabricatorImagemagickSetupCheck' => 'applications/config/check/PhabricatorImagemagickSetupCheck.php',
     'PhabricatorInFlightErrorView' => 'applications/config/view/PhabricatorInFlightErrorView.php',
@@ -7523,6 +7524,7 @@
     'PhabricatorIconSetEditField' => 'PhabricatorEditField',
     'PhabricatorIconSetIcon' => 'Phobject',
     'PhabricatorImageMacroRemarkupRule' => 'PhutilRemarkupRule',
+    'PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule' => 'PhutilRemarkupRule',
     'PhabricatorImageTransformer' => 'Phobject',
     'PhabricatorImagemagickSetupCheck' => 'PhabricatorSetupCheck',
     'PhabricatorInFlightErrorView' => 'AphrontView',
diff --git a/src/applications/files/application/PhabricatorFilesApplication.php b/src/applications/files/application/PhabricatorFilesApplication.php
--- a/src/applications/files/application/PhabricatorFilesApplication.php
+++ b/src/applications/files/application/PhabricatorFilesApplication.php
@@ -37,6 +37,7 @@
   public function getRemarkupRules() {
     return array(
       new PhabricatorEmbedFileRemarkupRule(),
+      new PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule(),
     );
   }
 
diff --git a/src/applications/files/markup/PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule.php b/src/applications/files/markup/PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule.php
new file mode 100644
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/applications/files/markup/PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule.php
@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
+<?php
+
+final class PhabricatorImageRemarkupRule extends PhutilRemarkupRule {
+  public function getPriority() {
+    // Obviously highest priority because I'm working on it right now
+    // (for real though, what should I make this?)
+    return -9000.0;
+  }
+
+  public function apply($text) {
+    return preg_replace_callback(
+      '@{(image|img) ((?:[^}\\\\]+|\\\\.)*)}@m',
+      array($this, 'markupImage'),
+      $text);
+  }
+
+  public function markupImage(array $matches) {
+    $uri = '';
+    if ($this->isURI($matches[2])) {
+      $uri = new PhutilURI($matches[2]);
+      $img = $this->newTag(
+        'img',
+        array('src' => $uri));
+      return $this->getEngine()->storeText($img);
+    } else {
+      $parser = new PhutilSimpleOptions();
+      $keys = $parser->parse($matches[2]);
+      // Create tag using keys
+    }
+    return $matches[2];
+  }
+
+  // This can probably be simplified a ton. Even if kept as-is, this probably
+  // isn't the right place to put it
+  private function isURI($uri_string) {
+    $regex = '(https?\:\/\/)?'; // protocol
+    // username and password. Can maybe just remove this piece.
+    $regex .= '([a-z0-9+!*(),;?&=\$_.-]+(\:[a-z0-9+!*(),;?&=\$_.-]+)?@)?';
+    $regex .= '([a-z0-9-.]*)\.([a-z]{2,3})'; // Host or IP
+    $regex .= '(\:[0-9]{2,5})?'; // Port
+    $regex .= '(\/([a-z0-9+\$_-]\.?)+)*\/?'; // Path
+    $regex .= '(\?[a-z+&\$_.-][a-z0-9;:@&%=+\/\$_.-]*)?'; // Query string
+    $regex .= '(#[a-z_.-][a-z0-9+\$_.-]*)?'; // Anchor
+
+    return preg_match("~^$regex$~i", $uri_string);
+  }
+}