diff --git a/src/applications/calendar/storage/PhabricatorCalendarHoliday.php b/src/applications/calendar/storage/PhabricatorCalendarHoliday.php
--- a/src/applications/calendar/storage/PhabricatorCalendarHoliday.php
+++ b/src/applications/calendar/storage/PhabricatorCalendarHoliday.php
@@ -21,22 +21,4 @@
     ) + parent::getConfiguration();
   }
 
-  public static function getNthBusinessDay($epoch, $n) {
-    // Sadly, there are not many holidays. So we can load all of them.
-    $holidays = id(new PhabricatorCalendarHoliday())->loadAll();
-    $holidays = mpull($holidays, null, 'getDay');
-    $interval = ($n > 0 ? 1 : -1) * 24 * 60 * 60;
-
-    $return = $epoch;
-    for ($i = abs($n); $i > 0; ) {
-      $return += $interval;
-      $weekday = date('w', $return);
-      if ($weekday != 0 && $weekday != 6 && // Sunday and Saturday
-          !isset($holidays[date('Y-m-d', $return)])) {
-        $i--;
-      }
-    }
-    return $return;
-  }
-
 }
diff --git a/src/applications/calendar/storage/__tests__/PhabricatorCalendarHolidayTestCase.php b/src/applications/calendar/storage/__tests__/PhabricatorCalendarHolidayTestCase.php
--- a/src/applications/calendar/storage/__tests__/PhabricatorCalendarHolidayTestCase.php
+++ b/src/applications/calendar/storage/__tests__/PhabricatorCalendarHolidayTestCase.php
@@ -16,24 +16,4 @@
       ->save();
   }
 
-  public function testNthBusinessDay() {
-    $map = array(
-      array('2011-12-30', 1, '2012-01-03'),
-      array('2012-01-01', 1, '2012-01-03'),
-      array('2012-01-01', 0, '2012-01-01'),
-      array('2012-01-01', -1, '2011-12-30'),
-      array('2012-01-04', -1, '2012-01-03'),
-    );
-    foreach ($map as $val) {
-      list($date, $n, $expect) = $val;
-      $actual = PhabricatorCalendarHoliday::getNthBusinessDay(
-        strtotime($date),
-        $n);
-      $this->assertEqual(
-        $expect,
-        date('Y-m-d', $actual),
-        pht("%d business days since '%s'", $n, $date));
-    }
-  }
-
 }
diff --git a/src/applications/config/check/PhabricatorExtraConfigSetupCheck.php b/src/applications/config/check/PhabricatorExtraConfigSetupCheck.php
--- a/src/applications/config/check/PhabricatorExtraConfigSetupCheck.php
+++ b/src/applications/config/check/PhabricatorExtraConfigSetupCheck.php
@@ -186,6 +186,10 @@
       'Configuration of the notification server has changed substantially. '.
       'For discussion, see T10794.');
 
+    $stale_reason = pht(
+      'The Differential revision list view age UI elements have been removed '.
+      'to simplify the interface.');
+
     $ancient_config += array(
       'phid.external-loaders' =>
         pht(
@@ -314,6 +318,9 @@
       'metamta.differential.unified-comment-context' => pht(
         'Inline comments are now always rendered with a limited amount '.
         'of context.'),
+
+      'differential.days-fresh' => $stale_reason,
+      'differential.days-stale' => $stale_reason,
     );
 
     return $ancient_config;
diff --git a/src/applications/differential/config/PhabricatorDifferentialConfigOptions.php b/src/applications/differential/config/PhabricatorDifferentialConfigOptions.php
--- a/src/applications/differential/config/PhabricatorDifferentialConfigOptions.php
+++ b/src/applications/differential/config/PhabricatorDifferentialConfigOptions.php
@@ -229,25 +229,6 @@
             "\n\n".
             'This sort of workflow is very unusual. Very few installs should '.
             'need to change this option.')),
-      $this->newOption('differential.days-fresh', 'int', 1)
-        ->setSummary(
-          pht(
-            "For how many business days should a revision be considered ".
-            "'fresh'?"))
-        ->setDescription(
-          pht(
-            'Revisions newer than this number of days are marked as fresh in '.
-            'Action Required and Revisions Waiting on You views. Only work '.
-            'days (not weekends and holidays) are included. Set to 0 to '.
-            'disable this feature.')),
-      $this->newOption('differential.days-stale', 'int', 3)
-        ->setSummary(
-          pht("After this many days, a revision will be considered 'stale'."))
-        ->setDescription(
-          pht(
-            "Similar to `%s` but marks stale revisions. ".
-            "If the revision is even older than it is when marked as 'old'.",
-            'differential.days-fresh')),
       $this->newOption(
         'metamta.differential.subject-prefix',
         'string',
diff --git a/src/applications/differential/view/DifferentialRevisionListView.php b/src/applications/differential/view/DifferentialRevisionListView.php
--- a/src/applications/differential/view/DifferentialRevisionListView.php
+++ b/src/applications/differential/view/DifferentialRevisionListView.php
@@ -65,20 +65,6 @@
   public function render() {
     $viewer = $this->getViewer();
 
-    $fresh = PhabricatorEnv::getEnvConfig('differential.days-fresh');
-    if ($fresh) {
-      $fresh = PhabricatorCalendarHoliday::getNthBusinessDay(
-        time(),
-        -$fresh);
-    }
-
-    $stale = PhabricatorEnv::getEnvConfig('differential.days-stale');
-    if ($stale) {
-      $stale = PhabricatorCalendarHoliday::getNthBusinessDay(
-        time(),
-        -$stale);
-    }
-
     $this->initBehavior('phabricator-tooltips', array());
     $this->requireResource('aphront-tooltip-css');
 
@@ -109,18 +95,6 @@
       $modified = $revision->getDateModified();
 
       $status = $revision->getStatus();
-      $show_age = ($fresh || $stale) &&
-                  $this->highlightAge &&
-                  !$revision->isClosed();
-
-      if ($stale && $modified < $stale) {
-        $object_age = PHUIObjectItemView::AGE_OLD;
-      } else if ($fresh && $modified < $fresh) {
-        $object_age = PHUIObjectItemView::AGE_STALE;
-      } else {
-        $object_age = PHUIObjectItemView::AGE_FRESH;
-      }
-
       $status_name =
         ArcanistDifferentialRevisionStatus::getNameForRevisionStatus($status);
 
@@ -143,11 +117,6 @@
         $item->addAttribute($draft);
       }
 
-      /* Most things 'Need Review', so accept it's the default */
-      if ($status != ArcanistDifferentialRevisionStatus::NEEDS_REVIEW) {
-        $item->addAttribute($status_name);
-      }
-
       // Author
       $author_handle = $this->handles[$revision->getAuthorPHID()];
       $item->addByline(pht('Author: %s', $author_handle->renderLink()));
@@ -164,7 +133,7 @@
       }
 
       $item->addAttribute(pht('Reviewers: %s', $reviewers));
-      $item->setEpoch($revision->getDateModified(), $object_age);
+      $item->setEpoch($revision->getDateModified());
 
       switch ($status) {
         case ArcanistDifferentialRevisionStatus::NEEDS_REVIEW: