diff --git a/src/daemon/PhutilDaemon.php b/src/daemon/PhutilDaemon.php
--- a/src/daemon/PhutilDaemon.php
+++ b/src/daemon/PhutilDaemon.php
@@ -149,9 +149,9 @@
             $this->emitOverseerMessage(self::MESSAGETYPE_DOWN, null);
             $this->log(
               pht(
-                'Daemon was idle for more than %s seconds, scaling pool '.
-                'down.',
-                $scale_down));
+                'Daemon was idle for more than %s second(s)s, '.
+                'scaling pool down.',
+                new PhutilNumber($scale_down)));
             break;
           }
         }
diff --git a/src/filesystem/Filesystem.php b/src/filesystem/Filesystem.php
--- a/src/filesystem/Filesystem.php
+++ b/src/filesystem/Filesystem.php
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@
     if ($data === false) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Failed to read file `%s'.", $path));
+        pht("Failed to read file '%s'.", $path));
     }
 
     return $data;
@@ -91,7 +91,7 @@
     if (@file_put_contents($path, $data) === false) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Failed to write file `%s'.", $path));
+        pht("Failed to write file '%s'.", $path));
     }
   }
 
@@ -234,18 +234,18 @@
     if (($fh = fopen($path, 'a')) === false) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Failed to open file `%s'.", $path));
+        pht("Failed to open file '%s'.", $path));
     }
     $dlen = strlen($data);
     if (fwrite($fh, $data) !== $dlen) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Failed to write %d bytes to `%s'.", $dlen, $path));
+        pht("Failed to write %d bytes to '%s'.", $dlen, $path));
     }
     if (!fflush($fh) || !fclose($fh)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Failed closing file `%s' after write.", $path));
+        pht("Failed closing file '%s' after write.", $path));
     }
   }
 
@@ -349,7 +349,7 @@
       $readable_umask = sprintf('%04o', $umask);
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Failed to chmod `%s' to `%s'.", $path, $readable_umask));
+        pht("Failed to chmod '%s' to '%s'.", $path, $readable_umask));
     }
   }
 
@@ -417,10 +417,10 @@
       if (strlen($data) != $number_of_bytes) {
         throw new Exception(
           pht(
-            '%s returned an unexpected number of bytes (got %d, expected %d)!',
+            '%s returned an unexpected number of bytes (got %s, expected %s)!',
             'openssl_random_pseudo_bytes()',
-            strlen($data),
-            $number_of_bytes));
+            new PhutilNumber(strlen($data)),
+            new PhutilNumber($number_of_bytes)));
       }
 
       return $data;
@@ -627,7 +627,7 @@
     if (!mkdir($path, $umask)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Failed to create directory `%s'.", $path));
+        pht("Failed to create directory '%s'.", $path));
     }
 
     // Need to change permissions explicitly because mkdir does something
@@ -717,7 +717,7 @@
     if ($list === false) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Unable to list contents of directory `%s'.", $path));
+        pht("Unable to list contents of directory '%s'.", $path));
     }
 
     foreach ($list as $k => $v) {
@@ -1012,7 +1012,7 @@
     if (!self::pathExists($path)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("File system entity `%s' does not exist.", $path));
+        pht("File system entity '%s' does not exist.", $path));
     }
   }
 
@@ -1029,7 +1029,7 @@
     if (file_exists($path) || is_link($path)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Path `%s' already exists!", $path));
+        pht("Path '%s' already exists!", $path));
     }
   }
 
@@ -1046,7 +1046,7 @@
     if (!is_file($path)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Requested path `%s' is not a file.", $path));
+        pht("Requested path '%s' is not a file.", $path));
     }
   }
 
@@ -1063,7 +1063,7 @@
     if (!is_dir($path)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Requested path `%s' is not a directory.", $path));
+        pht("Requested path '%s' is not a directory.", $path));
     }
   }
 
@@ -1080,7 +1080,7 @@
     if (!is_writable($path)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Requested path `%s' is not writable.", $path));
+        pht("Requested path '%s' is not writable.", $path));
     }
   }
 
@@ -1097,7 +1097,7 @@
     if (!is_readable($path)) {
       throw new FilesystemException(
         $path,
-        pht("Path `%s' is not readable.", $path));
+        pht("Path '%s' is not readable.", $path));
     }
   }
 
diff --git a/src/future/exec/CommandException.php b/src/future/exec/CommandException.php
--- a/src/future/exec/CommandException.php
+++ b/src/future/exec/CommandException.php
@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@
     $len = strlen($string);
     if ($len > $limit) {
       $cut = $len - $limit;
-      $suffix = pht('... (%s more bytes) ...', new PhutilNumber($cut));
+      $suffix = pht('... (%s more byte(s)) ...', new PhutilNumber($cut));
       if ($cut > strlen($suffix)) {
         $string = substr($string, 0, $limit).$suffix;
       }
diff --git a/src/future/exec/ExecFuture.php b/src/future/exec/ExecFuture.php
--- a/src/future/exec/ExecFuture.php
+++ b/src/future/exec/ExecFuture.php
@@ -737,7 +737,7 @@
       if (!is_resource($proc)) {
         throw new Exception(
           pht(
-            'Failed to %s: %s',
+            'Failed to `%s`: %s',
             'proc_open()',
             $err));
       }
diff --git a/src/future/oauth/PhutilOAuth1Future.php b/src/future/oauth/PhutilOAuth1Future.php
--- a/src/future/oauth/PhutilOAuth1Future.php
+++ b/src/future/oauth/PhutilOAuth1Future.php
@@ -239,7 +239,7 @@
 
         $cert = @openssl_pkey_get_private($this->privateKey->openEnvelope());
         if (!$cert) {
-          throw new Exception(pht('%S failed!', 'openssl_pkey_get_private()'));
+          throw new Exception(pht('%s failed!', 'openssl_pkey_get_private()'));
         }
 
         $pkey = @openssl_get_privatekey($cert);
diff --git a/src/moduleutils/PhutilLibraryMapBuilder.php b/src/moduleutils/PhutilLibraryMapBuilder.php
--- a/src/moduleutils/PhutilLibraryMapBuilder.php
+++ b/src/moduleutils/PhutilLibraryMapBuilder.php
@@ -464,10 +464,12 @@
     // Run the analyzer on any files which need analysis.
     if ($futures) {
       $limit = $this->subprocessLimit;
-      $count = number_format(count($futures));
 
       $this->log(
-        pht('Analyzing %d files with %d subprocesses...', $count, $limit));
+        pht(
+          'Analyzing %s files with %s subprocess(es)...',
+          phutil_count($futures),
+          new PhutilNumber($limit)));
 
       $progress = new PhutilConsoleProgressBar();
       if ($this->quiet) {
diff --git a/src/parser/__tests__/PhutilJSONTestCase.php b/src/parser/__tests__/PhutilJSONTestCase.php
--- a/src/parser/__tests__/PhutilJSONTestCase.php
+++ b/src/parser/__tests__/PhutilJSONTestCase.php
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
     $this->assertEqual(
       $expect,
       $serializer->encodeFormatted(array('x' => array())),
-      pht('Empty arrays should serialize as %s, not %s.', '[]', '{}'));
+      pht('Empty arrays should serialize as `%s`, not `%s`.', '[]', '{}'));
   }
 
 }
diff --git a/src/parser/xhpast/__tests__/PHPASTParserTestCase.php b/src/parser/xhpast/__tests__/PHPASTParserTestCase.php
--- a/src/parser/xhpast/__tests__/PHPASTParserTestCase.php
+++ b/src/parser/xhpast/__tests__/PHPASTParserTestCase.php
@@ -33,9 +33,10 @@
     if (!preg_match('/^#/', $head)) {
       throw new Exception(
         pht(
-          'Expected first line of parser test file "%s" to begin with "#" '.
+          'Expected first line of parser test file "%s" to begin with `%s` '.
           'and specify test options.',
-          $name));
+          $name,
+          '#'));
     }
 
     $head = preg_replace('/^#\s*/', '', $head);
diff --git a/src/serviceprofiler/PhutilServiceProfiler.php b/src/serviceprofiler/PhutilServiceProfiler.php
--- a/src/serviceprofiler/PhutilServiceProfiler.php
+++ b/src/serviceprofiler/PhutilServiceProfiler.php
@@ -102,7 +102,8 @@
           break;
         case 'conduit':
           if (isset($data['size'])) {
-            $desc = $data['method'].'() '.pht('<bytes = %d>', $data['size']);
+            $desc  = $data['method'].'() ';
+            $desc .= pht('<bytes = %s>', new PhutilNumber($data['size']));
           } else {
             $desc = $data['method'].'()';
           }
@@ -113,14 +114,15 @@
         case 'lint':
           $desc = $data['linter'];
           if (isset($data['paths'])) {
-            $desc .= ' '.pht('<paths = %d>', count($data['paths']));
+            $desc .= ' '.pht('<paths = %s>', phutil_count($data['paths']));
           }
           break;
         case 'lock':
           $desc = $data['name'];
           break;
         case 'event':
-          $desc = $data['kind'].' '.pht('<listeners = %d>', $data['count']);
+          $desc  = $data['kind'].' ';
+          $desc .= pht('<listeners = %s>', new PhutilNumber($data['count']));
           break;
         case 'ldap':
           $call = idx($data, 'call', '?');
diff --git a/src/utils/utils.php b/src/utils/utils.php
--- a/src/utils/utils.php
+++ b/src/utils/utils.php
@@ -742,7 +742,7 @@
     if (!is_array($item)) {
       throw new InvalidArgumentException(
         pht(
-          'Expected all items passed to %s to be arrays, but '.
+          'Expected all items passed to `%s` to be arrays, but '.
           'argument with key "%s" has type "%s".',
           __FUNCTION__.'()',
           $key,
@@ -1130,7 +1130,7 @@
       if (!phutil_is_utf8($key)) {
         $full_key = $full_key.phutil_utf8ize($key);
         return pht(
-          'Dictionary key "%s" is not valid UTF8, and can not be JSON encoded.',
+          'Dictionary key "%s" is not valid UTF8, and cannot be JSON encoded.',
           $full_key);
       }
 
@@ -1152,7 +1152,7 @@
           $display);
       } else {
         return pht(
-          'Dictionary value at key "%s" is not valid UTF8, and can not be '.
+          'Dictionary value at key "%s" is not valid UTF8, and cannot be '.
           'JSON encoded: %s',
           $path,
           $display);