diff --git a/resources/celerity/map.php b/resources/celerity/map.php
--- a/resources/celerity/map.php
+++ b/resources/celerity/map.php
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@
  */
 return array(
   'names' => array(
-    'core.pkg.css' => 'ad650d52',
+    'core.pkg.css' => '20d3b672',
     'core.pkg.js' => '0c88e7f6',
     'darkconsole.pkg.js' => '8ab24e01',
     'differential.pkg.css' => '3500921f',
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
     'rsrc/css/aphront/dark-console.css' => '6378ef3d',
     'rsrc/css/aphront/dialog-view.css' => 'd2e76b88',
     'rsrc/css/aphront/lightbox-attachment.css' => '7acac05d',
-    'rsrc/css/aphront/list-filter-view.css' => '18b7e144',
+    'rsrc/css/aphront/list-filter-view.css' => '2ae43867',
     'rsrc/css/aphront/multi-column.css' => 'fd18389d',
     'rsrc/css/aphront/notification.css' => '9c279160',
     'rsrc/css/aphront/pager-view.css' => '2e3539af',
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@
     'rsrc/css/aphront/typeahead.css' => '0e403212',
     'rsrc/css/application/almanac/almanac.css' => 'dbb9b3af',
     'rsrc/css/application/auth/auth.css' => '1e655982',
-    'rsrc/css/application/base/main-menu-view.css' => '361a51f9',
+    'rsrc/css/application/base/main-menu-view.css' => 'cfa2ec0f',
     'rsrc/css/application/base/notification-menu.css' => '6aa0a74b',
     'rsrc/css/application/base/phabricator-application-launch-view.css' => '16ca323f',
     'rsrc/css/application/base/standard-page-view.css' => 'd2a6518d',
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@
     'rsrc/css/application/config/setup-issue.css' => '22270af2',
     'rsrc/css/application/config/unhandled-exception.css' => '37d4f9a2',
     'rsrc/css/application/conpherence/durable-column.css' => 'caa12d4a',
-    'rsrc/css/application/conpherence/menu.css' => '7c900089',
+    'rsrc/css/application/conpherence/menu.css' => 'beef0920',
     'rsrc/css/application/conpherence/message-pane.css' => '44154798',
     'rsrc/css/application/conpherence/notification.css' => '04a6e10a',
     'rsrc/css/application/conpherence/update.css' => '1099a660',
@@ -354,8 +354,8 @@
     'rsrc/js/application/auth/behavior-persona-login.js' => '9414ff18',
     'rsrc/js/application/config/behavior-reorder-fields.js' => '14a827de',
     'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/ConpherenceThreadManager.js' => 'bb928342',
-    'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-durable-column.js' => 'c81c2bba',
-    'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-menu.js' => 'cda6de80',
+    'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-durable-column.js' => 'a0216452',
+    'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-menu.js' => 'de5579b4',
     'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-pontificate.js' => '21ba5861',
     'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-quicksand-blacklist.js' => '7927a7d3',
     'rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-widget-pane.js' => '1ec93bcf',
@@ -501,7 +501,7 @@
     'aphront-bars' => '231ac33c',
     'aphront-dark-console-css' => '6378ef3d',
     'aphront-dialog-view-css' => 'd2e76b88',
-    'aphront-list-filter-view-css' => '18b7e144',
+    'aphront-list-filter-view-css' => '2ae43867',
     'aphront-multi-column-view-css' => 'fd18389d',
     'aphront-pager-view-css' => '2e3539af',
     'aphront-panel-view-css' => '8427b78d',
@@ -515,7 +515,7 @@
     'config-options-css' => '7fedf08b',
     'config-welcome-css' => '6abd79be',
     'conpherence-durable-column-view' => 'caa12d4a',
-    'conpherence-menu-css' => '7c900089',
+    'conpherence-menu-css' => 'beef0920',
     'conpherence-message-pane-css' => '44154798',
     'conpherence-notification-css' => '04a6e10a',
     'conpherence-thread-manager' => 'bb928342',
@@ -557,7 +557,7 @@
     'javelin-behavior-boards-dropdown' => '0ec56e1d',
     'javelin-behavior-choose-control' => '6153c708',
     'javelin-behavior-config-reorder-fields' => '14a827de',
-    'javelin-behavior-conpherence-menu' => 'cda6de80',
+    'javelin-behavior-conpherence-menu' => 'de5579b4',
     'javelin-behavior-conpherence-pontificate' => '21ba5861',
     'javelin-behavior-conpherence-widget-pane' => '1ec93bcf',
     'javelin-behavior-countdown-timer' => 'e4cc26b3',
@@ -584,7 +584,7 @@
     'javelin-behavior-diffusion-locate-file' => '6d3e1947',
     'javelin-behavior-diffusion-pull-lastmodified' => '2b228192',
     'javelin-behavior-doorkeeper-tag' => 'e5822781',
-    'javelin-behavior-durable-column' => 'c81c2bba',
+    'javelin-behavior-durable-column' => 'a0216452',
     'javelin-behavior-error-log' => '6882e80a',
     'javelin-behavior-fancy-datepicker' => 'c51ae228',
     'javelin-behavior-global-drag-and-drop' => 'bbdf75ca',
@@ -729,7 +729,7 @@
     'phabricator-hovercard-view-css' => '893f4783',
     'phabricator-keyboard-shortcut' => '1ae869f2',
     'phabricator-keyboard-shortcut-manager' => 'c1700f6f',
-    'phabricator-main-menu-view' => '361a51f9',
+    'phabricator-main-menu-view' => 'cfa2ec0f',
     'phabricator-nav-view-css' => '7aeaf435',
     'phabricator-notification' => '0c6946e7',
     'phabricator-notification-css' => '9c279160',
@@ -1569,6 +1569,16 @@
       'javelin-request',
       'phabricator-shaped-request',
     ),
+    'a0216452' => array(
+      'javelin-behavior',
+      'javelin-dom',
+      'javelin-stratcom',
+      'javelin-behavior-device',
+      'javelin-scrollbar',
+      'javelin-quicksand',
+      'phabricator-keyboard-shortcut',
+      'conpherence-thread-manager',
+    ),
     'a0b57eb8' => array(
       'javelin-behavior',
       'javelin-dom',
@@ -1731,16 +1741,6 @@
       'javelin-stratcom',
       'javelin-vector',
     ),
-    'c81c2bba' => array(
-      'javelin-behavior',
-      'javelin-dom',
-      'javelin-stratcom',
-      'javelin-behavior-device',
-      'javelin-scrollbar',
-      'javelin-quicksand',
-      'phabricator-keyboard-shortcut',
-      'conpherence-thread-manager',
-    ),
     'c90a04fc' => array(
       'javelin-dom',
       'javelin-dynval',
@@ -1755,18 +1755,6 @@
       'javelin-stratcom',
       'phabricator-phtize',
     ),
-    'cda6de80' => array(
-      'javelin-behavior',
-      'javelin-dom',
-      'javelin-util',
-      'javelin-stratcom',
-      'javelin-workflow',
-      'javelin-behavior-device',
-      'javelin-history',
-      'javelin-vector',
-      'phabricator-shaped-request',
-      'conpherence-thread-manager',
-    ),
     'd19198c8' => array(
       'javelin-install',
       'javelin-dom',
@@ -1819,6 +1807,18 @@
       'javelin-typeahead-ondemand-source',
       'javelin-dom',
     ),
+    'de5579b4' => array(
+      'javelin-behavior',
+      'javelin-dom',
+      'javelin-util',
+      'javelin-stratcom',
+      'javelin-workflow',
+      'javelin-behavior-device',
+      'javelin-history',
+      'javelin-vector',
+      'phabricator-shaped-request',
+      'conpherence-thread-manager',
+    ),
     'e10f8e18' => array(
       'javelin-behavior',
       'javelin-dom',
diff --git a/webroot/rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-durable-column.js b/webroot/rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-durable-column.js
--- a/webroot/rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-durable-column.js
+++ b/webroot/rsrc/js/application/conpherence/behavior-durable-column.js
@@ -83,9 +83,13 @@
 
     // When we activate the column, adjust the tablet breakpoint so that we
     // convert the left side of the screen to tablet mode on narrow displays.
-    var breakpoint = JX.Device.getTabletBreakpoint();
-    JX.Device.setTabletBreakpoint(
-      visible ? (breakpoint + columnWidth) : (breakpoint - columnWidth));
+    var breakpoint;
+    if (visible) {
+      breakpoint = minimumViewportWidth + columnWidth;
+    } else {
+      breakpoint = minimumViewportWidth;
+    }
+    JX.Device.setTabletBreakpoint(breakpoint);
 
     JX.Stratcom.invoke('resize');
   }