diff --git a/src/__phutil_library_map__.php b/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
--- a/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
+++ b/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
@@ -179,6 +179,7 @@
     'PhutilHangForeverDaemon' => 'daemon/torture/PhutilHangForeverDaemon.php',
     'PhutilHelpArgumentWorkflow' => 'parser/argument/workflow/PhutilHelpArgumentWorkflow.php',
     'PhutilHgsprintfTestCase' => 'xsprintf/__tests__/PhutilHgsprintfTestCase.php',
+    'PhutilINIParserException' => 'parser/exception/PhutilINIParserException.php',
     'PhutilIPAddress' => 'ip/PhutilIPAddress.php',
     'PhutilIPAddressTestCase' => 'ip/__tests__/PhutilIPAddressTestCase.php',
     'PhutilInRequestKeyValueCache' => 'cache/PhutilInRequestKeyValueCache.php',
@@ -409,6 +410,7 @@
     'phutil_get_library_root_for_path' => 'moduleutils/moduleutils.php',
     'phutil_get_signal_name' => 'future/exec/execx.php',
     'phutil_implode_html' => 'markup/render.php',
+    'phutil_ini_decode' => 'utils/utils.php',
     'phutil_is_hiphop_runtime' => 'utils/utils.php',
     'phutil_is_utf8' => 'utils/utf8.php',
     'phutil_is_utf8_slowly' => 'utils/utf8.php',
@@ -604,6 +606,7 @@
     'PhutilHangForeverDaemon' => 'PhutilTortureTestDaemon',
     'PhutilHelpArgumentWorkflow' => 'PhutilArgumentWorkflow',
     'PhutilHgsprintfTestCase' => 'PhutilTestCase',
+    'PhutilINIParserException' => 'Exception',
     'PhutilIPAddress' => 'Phobject',
     'PhutilIPAddressTestCase' => 'PhutilTestCase',
     'PhutilInRequestKeyValueCache' => 'PhutilKeyValueCache',
diff --git a/src/parser/exception/PhutilINIParserException.php b/src/parser/exception/PhutilINIParserException.php
new file mode 100644
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/parser/exception/PhutilINIParserException.php
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+<?php
+
+final class PhutilINIParserException extends Exception {}
diff --git a/src/utils/__tests__/PhutilUtilsTestCase.php b/src/utils/__tests__/PhutilUtilsTestCase.php
--- a/src/utils/__tests__/PhutilUtilsTestCase.php
+++ b/src/utils/__tests__/PhutilUtilsTestCase.php
@@ -535,6 +535,64 @@
     }
   }
 
+  public function testPhutilINIDecode() {
+    // Skip the test if we are using an older version of PHP that doesn't
+    // have the `parse_ini_string` function.
+    try {
+      phutil_ini_decode('');
+    } catch (PhutilMethodNotImplementedException $ex) {
+      $this->assertSkipped($ex->getMessage());
+    }
+
+    $valid_cases = array(
+      '' => array(),
+      'foo=' => array('foo' => ''),
+      'foo=bar' => array('foo' => 'bar'),
+      'foo = bar' => array('foo' => 'bar'),
+      "foo = bar\n" => array('foo' => 'bar'),
+      "foo\nbar = baz" => array('bar' => 'baz'),
+
+      "[foo]\nbar = baz" => array('foo' => array('bar' => 'baz')),
+      "[foo]\n[bar]\nbaz = foo" => array(
+        'foo' => array(),
+        'bar' => array('baz' => 'foo'),
+      ),
+      "[foo]\nbar = baz\n\n[bar]\nbaz = foo" => array(
+        'foo' => array('bar' => 'baz'),
+        'bar' => array('baz' => 'foo'),
+      ),
+
+      "; Comment\n[foo]\nbar = baz" => array('foo' => array('bar' => 'baz')),
+      "# Comment\n[foo]\nbar = baz" => array('foo' => array('bar' => 'baz')),
+
+      "foo = true\n[bar]\nbaz = false"
+        => array('foo' => true, 'bar' => array('baz' => false)),
+      "foo = 1\nbar = 1.234" => array('foo' => 1, 'bar' => 1.234),
+      'x = {"foo": "bar"}' => array('x' => '{"foo": "bar"}'),
+    );
+
+    foreach ($valid_cases as $input => $expect) {
+      $result = phutil_ini_decode($input);
+      $this->assertEqual($expect, $result, 'phutil_ini_decode('.$input.')');
+    }
+
+    $invalid_cases = array(
+      '[' =>
+        'syntax error, unexpected $end, expecting \']\' in Unknown on line 1',
+    );
+
+    foreach ($invalid_cases as $input => $expect) {
+      $caught = null;
+      try {
+        phutil_ini_decode($input);
+      } catch (Exception $ex) {
+        $caught = $ex;
+      }
+      $this->assertTrue($caught instanceof PhutilINIParserException);
+      $this->assertEqual($expect, $caught->getMessage());
+    }
+  }
+
   public function testCensorCredentials() {
     $cases = array(
       '' => '',
diff --git a/src/utils/utils.php b/src/utils/utils.php
--- a/src/utils/utils.php
+++ b/src/utils/utils.php
@@ -1058,6 +1058,69 @@
 
 
 /**
+ * Decode an INI string.
+ *
+ * @param  string
+ * @return mixed
+ */
+function phutil_ini_decode($string) {
+  $results = null;
+  $trap = new PhutilErrorTrap();
+
+  try {
+    if (!function_exists('parse_ini_string')) {
+      throw new PhutilMethodNotImplementedException(
+        pht(
+          '%s is not compatible with your version of PHP (%s). This function '.
+          'is only supported on PHP versions newer than 5.3.0.',
+          __FUNCTION__,
+          phpversion()));
+    }
+
+    $results = @parse_ini_string($string, true, INI_SCANNER_RAW);
+
+    if ($results === false) {
+      throw new PhutilINIParserException(trim($trap->getErrorsAsString()));
+    }
+
+    foreach ($results as $section => $result) {
+      if (!is_array($result)) {
+        // We JSON decode the value in ordering to perform the following
+        // conversions:
+        //
+        //   - `'true'` => `true`
+        //   - `'false'` => `false`
+        //   - `'123'` => `123`
+        //   - `'1.234'` => `1.234`
+        //
+        $result = json_decode($result, true);
+
+        if ($result !== null && !is_array($result)) {
+          $results[$section] = $result;
+        }
+
+        continue;
+      }
+
+      foreach ($result as $key => $value) {
+        $value = json_decode($value, true);
+
+        if ($value !== null && !is_array($value)) {
+          $results[$section][$key] = $value;
+        }
+      }
+    }
+  } catch (Exception $ex) {
+    $trap->destroy();
+    throw $ex;
+  }
+
+  $trap->destroy();
+  return $results;
+}
+
+
+/**
  * Attempt to censor any plaintext credentials from a string.
  *
  * The major use case here is to censor usernames and passwords from command